LainTrain

Projection. Just because I'm not a moron consuming corporate slop with more plot holes than plot and contrived drama doesn't mean I'm some rightoid just because both upset you. If anything ironically you make them look cool, were I not pretty far-left I'd probably now think the anti-woke people must be pretty cool if they don't consume actual garbage.

Yeah yeah but like, America #1. USA USA USA USA 🌎🏈🇻🇮🇺🇲🇺🇸🇦🇸🌭🍔🔫

Oh yeah?! Well I hate flying but love everything to do with air travel from the airports to the seats and especially security! I kiss every TSA agent I meet, sloppy style!

I likely think there was something she would emit, some sort of fur particulate or something else because she loved sitting on my lap and just being right in my face and I was fine. Only literally being in the house with her would mess me up, and after like half an hour outside I'd be okay again.

This lack of direct correlation made me think I was just sick for the longest time until I connected the dots that time outside made me feel immediately better.

She was an odd cat. Fur was unreal silky, extremely impressive even for a cat, and also quite long, and the previous owner said how they've never really had to trim it or do anything to her coat at all because she maintained it herself really well. I've a gut feeling it's connected to that.

Well-aged meme. Like a fine wine.

Yeah that sounds fucked up NGL. Children should not be aware of sex.

I don't believe it honestly. Been burned on DSC and PIC already which were raging trashfires. Is the transformers guy and his bad robot nepo babies still involved?

Is this another new trek show? They're still trying?

Had a cat that I was somehow allergic(?) to. Just constant itchy red eyes. Eventually coughing and wheezing. MNever been allergic to a damn thing in my life. Never understood it. Shed go all around my face and I would be fine, then suddenly she'd just be about the place and my eyes would get so bloody I swear blood was actually leaking out of them. Had to return her. Loved her to bits in those few weeks. 😭

Nah it did jack shit for me in that regard. Don't get me wrong, transitioning fixed my gender dysphoria, but that's nothing to do with self-worth.

If anything prior to transition I never fucking worried about this stuff, because I wasn't even really a person, I wasn't even afraid of dying because I wasn't really living in the first place. Most of the time I wanted to die throughout my teens so what I figured out to be gender dysphoria would just stop torturing me. Transitioning saved my life.

Now, I'm 10 years in. What a ride. Now I actually quite like my life, I like myself, both physically of course in that my body basically doesn't cause me any dysphoria at all anymore, a sentiment I find baffling really, and even just my character, I've had a tough life and a tough time transitioning, but I've come out so much stronger at the end of it.

But that's just the baseline. I'm a woman. There's like a fuckton of women in the world. Who am I really? What makes my life worth living? If anything - this is exacerbated by how hard I worked to even just have some peace. What is it all for, just to reduce suffering, or am I capable of more than merely that?

The problem is though, how do you even call yourself an artist? What's art, and what's a doodle? Is it a degree? X amount of sales? Doing it under employment? So not indie? X hours of effort per work? X listeners on Spotify? Talent? Skill? How does one judge that? What criteria? How could one apply such criteria to oneself when we are so biased? When is someone a kid just putting blocks together in FL studio, and when is someone a musician? A composer? An artiste? Can I call myself an artist if my friends swear my songs are good? Am I going to be discovered after my death as a secret genius, or am I just churning out cacophanies that make sense to no one but myself, making me little more than a living argument that perhaps tools should be reserved for those who know how to use them, an ape armed with a musical shotgun?

Thinking about all this stuff just makes my silly empty head spin. I'm only a hobbyist, but I know an actual published playwright, theatre manager and hobbyist game dev who I greatly respect and admire as an artist and person once said "oh I'm not an artist though" as she was explaining game dev to me - a CS major, and it just obliterated something deep in my soul. girl, what then who even is.

Always Sunny gave a comforting answer in an episode once, it's when the right people say it is art, then it's art. As nonsensical as this answer is, it's at least an answer.

Such a common thing in the SelfHosted communities on Reddit and here too. It's always train this or that or learn this and that this cert that job this goal that performance bruh if you're a computer nerd it's okay to do stuff with computers just embrace it.

*Nothing wrong with goals or practicality, but so many are clearly just reaching for noble justifications for what they find fun, which is capitalist christian work ethic brainrot of the highest order.