F04118F

So I recently started to recognize a lot of the behaviors associated with ADHD. I was and still am in doubt whether I have ADHD or not, but some specific events caused me to ask my doctor to refer me for a diagnosis. I was actually doing quite OK-ish this year, after having struggled with self-worth, short depressive episodes and mild trauma in the recent past. But I noticed that I started to have trouble focusing again as the newness wore off after my career change. And I got called out by my friends for "acting ADHD". Which did not sound unusual at all.

So I got the referral, went through the intake with shrink 1, did an adult ADHD diagnosis with shrink 2. The diagnosis involved me and my mom answering questions about the presence of ADHD symptoms now and in my early childhood (5-12 yo). Basically, now I do have almost all of the characteristics, though they often are erratic (no problems studying, huge difficulties with household tasks, work productivity varies orders of magnitude day to day) and often not noticed by others (my average productivity in a month is great, though many days I feel shit due to not being able to do what I am supposed to).

In childhood, no symptoms were found. Zero. Partly because everyone in my family is forgetful and mom picks up stuff after everyone all the time, I was constantly reminded/pushed/supported and did not really have the opportunity to forget things (though I still did) and partly because like now, many of these things happen in my head and are not noticeable in the averages that others see. Except when I'm talking too much and interrupting people but I guess thats acceptable when children do it.

Maybe I don't have ADHD. Maybe it's something else. Maybe the shrink misunderstood me.

But I feel shit right now. The title is what I had pre-planned to say to people about the outcome and if they say again "don't act so ADHD". I can say it with a laugh and everyone thinks I'm funny and quirky.

But the truth is, I feel misunderstood. I feel like a failure for having fallen into an ADHD phenotype even though I am hugely privileged and have none of the baggage so many people here do. No childhood trauma, no school/grades problems, no poverty.

I can't help but feel that my behavior is my fault, as is wasting health professionals time, who could have helped someone who actually needed it. Shrink 1 is on "long-term sick leave" now. She got stressed by me clicking things constantly during the (remote) interviews. Another thing to feel guilty about.

Best case now is that they diagnose me with some sort of anxiety disorder now. I have been reading a book on autism that I found and it somewhat satisfies my yearning for closure and community in what the author finds, but it also makes it extra painful that I don't have that.

I don't have ADHD, I just am super annoying. And I need to deal with that and it's not actually all that funny.

I'm sorry for the wall of text. Thanks for sharing your stories and memes and goodbye!

• Pop!_OS 22.04
• on a 500GB SATA SSD
• separate partitions with ext4 fs for the root and /home partitions.

I have Googled a lot, resized the home partition and filesystem a few times (from a liveboot USB) and run various analyzers but the problem persists.

Some output:

pop-os@pop-os:/media/pop-os$ sudo resize2fs /dev/sda3
resize2fs 1.46.5 (30-Dec-2021)
Please run 'e2fsck -f /dev/sda3' first.

pop-os@pop-os:/media/pop-os$ cd a358cafe-a2a3-46a4-ba33-0a82e88fb157/ && sudo ncdu || cd ../
pop-os@pop-os:/media/pop-os$ sudo lsblk /dev/sda3 -o size
 SIZE
 271G
pop-os@pop-os:/media/pop-os$ sudo e2fsck /dev/sda3
e2fsck 1.46.5 (30-Dec-2021)
/dev/sda3: clean, 264256/17768448 files, 8195768/71048094 blocks
pop-os@pop-os:/media/pop-os$ df -h --out=size a358cafe-a2a3-46a4-ba33-0a82e88fb157/
 Size
 266G

ncdu, du show 62 GB and Steam says similarly that there is no space to install games.

When I resize the partition and filesystem, it does show less remaining size. Resizing back to 290 GB, the max is still ~62 GB total apparent space.

Any ideas before I nuke the partition and move my data into a fresh one?

I finished the Sea Harrier yesterday. My third finished kit. Had some interesting mistakes along the way, and it was the first time reviving such old decals (yellowed and broken). Learned a lot. Given the troubles I had, I am very happy with the end result.

https://www.scalemates.com/profiles/mate.php?id=118436&p=albums&album=95014

This AAR was originally shared at Mudspike, I hope you like it.

This was in February, back in Enigma's V1 with the lines, no hex grid, flying F1CE in the old scenario.

It must be about a year since I have been eyeing Enigma’s Cold War server. I have flown there once or twice, but have only dreamt of flying the Mirage F1 in a coordinated planned fashion.

I have not flown a lot last week, but last night I managed to get myself invited to @miRage and @MBot 's group and joined them for an attack run in the Mirage F1 on Enigma’s Cold War server. It had just switched to Caucasus earlier that day (I still don’t own Syria).

It was an epic flight. They had a flight plan, a detailed attack plan (with mils, degrees, feet and knots), helped me manage the radios and allowed me to focus on flying and looking around.

As we approached the front line at 20k ft, just above the clouds, @MBot was talking to the AWACS and told us things like: “Fishbed, 10 nmi, roughly heading towards us” “7 nmi” “No he’s on the deck, we’re safe” This happened a few times. I did not feel safe at this point. But that was clearly not going to happen in a full ECW server with 70 players flying aggressively around the same front line area.

Finally, one of the Fishbeds did appear to be coming after us, but that was right as we approached the IP and dove into the valley that would take us to our target. We flew low and fast (Mach 0.95 on the deck) with a full load of 5 Belouga cluster bombs. In trail formation, with yours truly in third

“Only 3 nmi behind us” - our leader said

I suggested using burner but we can’t go supersonic with the bombs still on so we pressed on at M0.95 I said: “Don’t worry guys, he’ll shoot me first”

“Stay on target…” was @miRage 's apt response.

As we arrived at the target, we followed lead’s cues: 30 degrees left, 30 degrees up At 6200 feet sea level, turn into the target. We had planned for a 15 degree dive, release at 1500 feet AGL with the target at 121 mils.

I don’t remember what my dive angle was. I think I was shallow, but I was a bit distracted by the tracers that flew by my cockpit as I walked the pipper onto the target.

I dropped my bombs roughly on target and started flying erratically, low, with full burner, while announcing to the others what was happening. I occasionally looked back but focused mostly on flying dangerously while not flying into terrain.

Some intense tens of seconds later, I spotted one of my flight in front of me and wanted to warn them for the MiG that would surely start taking a shot at them.

Then I heard the magic words:

“AWACS reports nearest bandit is 20 miles out”

I looked past my shoulder and saw a large fire in one of the forests behind me.

He must have flown into terrain or maybe he killed his engine: my flight told me the Mirage F1 can fly faster without killing its engine at low altitude.

We rejoined just above treetop level and managed to fly back to base.

This may well be the best DCS experience I have ever had.

Looking forward to more attack runs on ECW with these guys!

I am not looking to onboard thousands of users or host large communities, just my own and some family and close friends' accounts. I don't currently have a scalable homeserver setup (just a local Home Assistant instance on a Pi) and don't have the space to put an old desktop running Proxmox on a cable.

I was browsing single-board computers and the Pine64 (2GB RAM) looks like a good deal. It seems more powerful than similarly priced Raspberry Pis (3B 1GB). Is it good for running a small Lemmy instance on?

EDIT: Thanks for the advice all, just bought an 8th gen i3 NUC (4 vCPU, 8GB RAM) to play around with Proxmox and VMs. Going to start off with migrating Home Assistant and then set up a Lemmy instance, and perhaps a static website too.

Is there a federated r/hoggit-like place already? What should a federated hoggit be called? Foggit? Or just [email protected]?

As for me personally, I mostly fly helicopters and mid-late cold war jets (guess my favorite) in DCS though I sometimes do MSFS and have previously flown X-Plane (7,8,11).

I use a VR headset, HP Reverb G2, with Virpil HOTAS and MFG pedals. Ryzen 5800X3D with an RTX3080.