this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
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Risa

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Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.

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100% Official detailed description of Type-II phaser functions lifted from the Starfleet Technical Utilities Manual for new cadets (startrek.website)
submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 months ago

A couple problems:

Some of these "settings" go on completely different weapons, or even different centuries.

Some of them are also "they rigged the phaser to do X" which would not be a button.

I'm a big fan of the Vaporize Acqueduct setting, though. You wouldn't think you'd get to use it often, but you might be surprised!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (2 children)

What if phasers are just low powered teleporters? That's an O'brien fact

[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Oof. So You're not actually vaporized like a regular phaser, just sent to O'Brien's shadow realm

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

This is basically the plot of Loki

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

You are sent, but your playlist is set on shuffle

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

They’re TRANSporters!!

Trans-porters (dematerialize and rematerialize) matter!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (2 children)

They need more wide beam settings. Every time they clean something with a phaser in Lower Decks, using the precise beam, I die a little inside

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

To be fairrrrrrrr.....

The beams are wider than normal phasers in most situations. Like mariner cleaning carbon off slightly harder carbon or the crew cleaning the crystal graffiti off the ship.

I could see that being an energy-intensives thing though, and having worked on handheld high-current devices, I could totally see limiting the beam power/width settings to ensure you don't melt your hand. Or accidentally trip the overload setting...

here's a crazy idea: dedicated cleaning beams that make that kind of thing a "boop and we're done" situation. Or like.... Use the rifles. Those have to be able to handle more power, right?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Just a cylindrical power supply, you can add some wheels to make it easier. Oh, and make the beam-generator wider, so you can best disperse that beam.

Here's how a well device cleaning device would look like (but the on one the image wouldn't work in a vacuum): https://ukcleaningsupplies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/IMG_1451-1.jpg

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

It's probably easier to animate that way.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"Vaporize the pot but not the potatoes"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Best part of that scene is how Uhura just barges in there before security even arrives

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Use the 2 side buttons to switch modes and the big button to fire. The lights will change depending on the mode.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

But be careful if it has the post-Wolf-359 remodulation hotfix, because it's really easy to end up stuck in the nutation settings menu if you press either button 5 times within a few seconds.

You can disable this behavior with a long press of the firing button, which unsurprisingly got its own hotfix shortly after that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Fucking anduril UI....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, the side buttons default to back/next on your browser and Starfleet really locks down rebinds.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Riker googling: how to root phaser

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I do not want to see his autocomplete for "how to root."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They still haven't found the safety that only highly advanced species can use at will.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

It's the trigger - like a weedwhacker. The actual firing mechanism is on the bottom of the handle. You use your little finger. Any small children or pre-warp civilizations just assume it's designed to be convenient and fumble about uselessly. Nah: if Starfleet can't make a dangerous tool smart enough to say no, they make using it a pain in the ass.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Where's the ' Make energy run through an entire aqueduct destroying it for miles' button?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that's the "vaporize aqueduct" setting.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

See, this is why they go through Starfleet training. My untrained eye didn't pick up on that setting.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Which one to shatter my delusions of an alien mental hospital?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

You know a character is gone for good if they have 45 seconds of dialogue before kicking the bucket.

Edit: there's always an exception to every rule, the best rules only have 1 exception, this one being spock.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Tasha Yar is coming back?! 🥺

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

You remember sela, don't you Bart?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Come on now, they usually had to crack open the case to get self-destruct

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Level 2 Charger for EV?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Or power a cargo bay transporter.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

That's how Stargate had a time-travel episode to 1969, and the worst writing decision was about getting rid of a footlocker.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Single press to change display colour Hold for 5 seconds to recalibrate Hold for 5 seconds and then 3 seconds until beep to self-destruct