puts fetishes on his profile. Gets nowhere.
Acts like a normal damn human and doesn't bring that up right away, gets matches.
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this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024
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Well it does work like that on grindr from what I understand. Also anon clearly doesn't want a non-dominant gf, so I think being respectfully upfront with expectations is the correct move that saves everyone time and effort. I think the real problem is simply supply vs demand: anon is hot enough to be conventionally attractive, but not hot enough to stand out amongst the 20 submissive men for every dominant woman or whatever.
(Also I'm aromantic so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass and serial dating until you find someone sexually compatible is the way to go, in which case best of luck to y'all, I'm going to eat some garlic bread)
Oh don't get me wrong, not saying its bad to be upfront. its just....know your audience yo. If you are on vanilla dating apps and have that in your profile then....yeeeeeeeeeeah. gonna get ignored. Dude needs to know about fetlife lol.
Then, of course, he needs to get out his wallet because pretty much all the dommes I see seeking there anymore are pro but thats a whole other can of worms.
Honestly, finding a dom on Grindr (who isn't a massive creep) has felt like a sysophean task.
I know they're out there. They've got to be, right?
Being upfront worked for me (not sexually). I was upfront on how much of a gamer and introvert I was. On how I didn't want kids and how I was awkward and shy. Turns out girls are Into that if you're kinda cute and employed. Met my now fiancee through an app that way.
I think you're mostly correct with your assumptions. Could also just be there aren't any dominant women in anon's, or they're using a different dating app
Fetlife, my man. You're fishing in the forest, bud. There's a chance your hook lands in a river, but you're better off hitting up a dock.
I’ve checked out fetlife once or twice. The sub man to dom woman ratio is like 10 to 1, so good luck.
Yeah but putting your fetishes on there is normal behavior. I'm on it. Unfortunately everyone who contacts me is trying to cheat on their SO's.
The only water in the forest is the river
Yes, but there's a lot more land than river, so if you're standing in a forest and casting randomly, there's a tiny chance you get a river. If you are fishing at a dock, though, the likelihood of casting into water (and catching fish) is... well, significantly higher.
I was referring to this but yeah, it's a bit obscure and off context here.
OH! Man, can't believe I missed a Doctor Who reference.
Just do what I did. Fuck around like Don Juan, marry a sexually incompatible person to stabilize your life, get fed up with incompatibility, divorce, do the same thing again, divorce, and luck into a new relationship with someone who knows how to both scratch your itch and not spiral your life.
You'll get less hits with a more specific profile
He's asking a lot. Dommes can make money because the demand is so much higher than the supply. It's not so much that he's leading with his sexual kink, if it's important to him, it's more that he's in a very long line of guys who want the same thing in a world where it's scarce.