this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
1144 points (99.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26305 readers
3 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 97 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Also explains how such a big guy can climb down nonexistent chimneys. He uses quantum tunneling to get into all the houses.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

In at least one of the universes the house will have a chimney

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Hopefully all the Christmas decorations don't cause any quantum entanglement as he rushes around.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Wrong, Google maps can track him and I've heard him in the middle on the night.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Google map is late to the game. NORAD has radars and has been doing it for much longer.

Due to the uncertainty principle, they can know where he's going or where he is, but not both at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

We can't measure Santa at all if we don't want to have an effect on Santa. This is dangerous territory.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

SG1 is probably helping track Santa since he’s quantum

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.

Are you sure that isn't just a peeping tom?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

No, if it was, he would have been shot on sight by my mom. I was really young when it happened.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Your mom didn't shoot Santa, she shot a hobo.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No, she never woke up to shot him. Only I know he was in the house.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Then from your mom's perspective, Santa can be considered both dead and alive.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

The problem with Santa Tracker is that he only visits like 20 cities accross the globe.
I live in bumfuck nowhere and I still get presents. That's how I know that Google is lying.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

No! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Breaking and entering is okay on Christmas if you use the chimney?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

Someone's getting coal this year.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Entering, maybe, but breaking? What are they breaking? They're just going down the chimney hole.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I like the idea of the time zone Santa being in is like an electron probability cloud.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I subscribe to the multi Santa theory

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (4 children)

So can someone who understands quantum theory higher level than a simple idiot like myself confirm if this actually holds to real quantum physics, or is it just words?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As an expert scientician with a degree in science, I can tell you in my educated opinion that Santa's Quantum Superposition Theory is the best explanation for how I got a Zartan action figure in 1985 without ever telling my mom and dad I wanted one.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

It also explains how everyone gets exactly what they asked Santa for. Before the present is opened it contains all possible presents and once you open it, it collapses to what you expected.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Wave function collapse is a totally real thing, yeah.

Most quantum stuff doesn't apply to our every day, macro lives.

Except seeing Santa. If you see him, run.

Don't stop running.

He's faster than a deer, and you need a head start. ;)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

🎶Santa Claus is gunning you down🎶

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

To a degree, yes. As was mentioned elsewhere there is a thing called Wave Function Collapse, which occurs when a measurement is taken of a quantum system and forces the system from superposition (multiple states at once) into a single state. A measurement could be seeing it, scanning it, bumping into it, etc (not human conscious observation, that's an old and weird interpretation and not relevant nowadays).

Before (and after as well) you actually collapse the wave function you can perform meaningful math using the quantum particles. The one way I'm familiar with is for computer calculations, which is what quantum computers are aiming for. This is basically done by canceling out certain possibilities to only allow the wave function to collapse into ways that give meaningful mathematic results.

As such, this is barely relatable to a quantum Santa which uses this nature to perform meaningful present sharing actions simultaneously using quantum superposition of a quantum system that is spread out over a very large area. Of course, basic quantum mechanics becomes statistically the same as normal physics (i.e. 10 quadrillion particles average out to one normal human), so Santa would need to be a reality bender to allow for such small chances to occur to allow a human sized being to affect a huge area... but whatever.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Yes, but no.

A quantum Santa could deliver presents to every house simultaneously if nothing observed his passage. On the other hand, at some point the wave function will collapse, like say when people check what presents are under the tree. When the wave function collapses, the probabilities all go away and there's a single answer, so he could deliver presents to one and only one house.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Correction: only MY house gets presents if I see Santa. THEY'RE ALL MINE

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Image Transcription: Mastodon Post


Bastett, @[email protected]

Santa is a quantum being. His probabilistic nature means he can be in every house at the same time on Christmas.

This is why it's vitally important noone sees him. If he's observed the probabilites collapse and only one house gets presents.

#Christmas

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

So only Noone needs to wear a blindfold?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's your parent(s)/primary caregiver(s). It's expensive and a little gratitude wouldn't hurt.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It is santa. You think my own parents would just lie to me for over 30 years!? To hand the credit to someone imaginary? Doesn't make a shred of sense.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

No thoughts, only Christmas xxx

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

This is not a problem for kids here in Finland. On Christmas Eve, there is a knock on the door and Santa Claus (Joulupukki) comes in to greet the family and bring gifts.

No problem with observation or collapsing Christmas probability fields or whatever. He brings the presents, you thank him and that's it.