this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I watch Lord Of The Rings at Christmas.

  • it has elves

  • the fellowship set out from Rivendell on the 25th of December

  • Gandalf has a santa-like beard

I rest my case

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget they all came out in December! That's the only thing that matters.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Aww never knew they were LGBT 🥰

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

All of them were originally released around the holidays back in the early 00s as well, so there's baked in Christmas association with those movies.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

In a parallel universe multiplex somewhere, Christopher Lee smashed it as Krampus.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that Krampus is actually based on his activities during the second world war.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (15 children)

People say Die Hard is Christmas movie because people are so fucking tired of the same rehashed Christmas movies that get played in repeat every year. I like Elf but I've seen it enough.

Same with Christmas music. I'm tired of this boomer era shit starting in October.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Jingle All the Way is a better Christmas action movie that's actually about Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

So my husband also loves this movie. I try every year to like it, but I simply cannot. I wonder if it's one of those that you find and love as a kid or else it's hard to get into, haha.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I watched this again a few years ago, and Sinbad has some of the worst delivery of all time, even among people who flexed into an "acting" career. That's to go among with Arnie's "unique" delivery of predictable dialogues and bad puns.

Phil Hartman was hilarious, or course.

It's a terrible movie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Sinbad's performance is saved by the homemade explosive device scene. Other than that, he's a hack haha

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

It's a terrible movie, but us Minnesotans overlook that for the unbridled joy of pointing at the screen and saying "I've been there!" or "Nancy knows the family that used to live in that house." (she doesn't)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Honestly Phil Hartman being in it is one of the best parts for me. He was a treasure. RIP

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You have to buy into the premise of its fantastical, half real/half cartoon reality. If you’re watching it through a serious lens or even as a comedy that takes place in a real world Minneapolis, you’ll never be able to appreciate it.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Violent Night is going to be a Christmas tradition of ours. I also checked out Fatman this year.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

My girlfriend said the same thing. Not a masterpiece but a fun lil movie to break the monotony of regular holiday movies.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

A tradition is anything that happened to a boomer twice.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Muppet Christmas Carole never gets old.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (6 children)

“If you _____ it means you have no personality” is played out

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

If you enjoy “if you _____ it means you have no personality” articles it means you have no personality.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Agreed. Saying everything isn't a personality isn't a personality either.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

american psycho should be one if them, the main character even says "have a holly jolly christmas"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

There are more nonchalant Christmas references in American Psycho than in a Shane Black movie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I like when he ODs the two elves on MDMA then walks around with the elf head on his dick.

Such metaphor.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

I saw some clickbait article the other day “movies you didn’t realize were Christmas movies” and it was full of obvious Christmas movies. #1 was Its a Wonderful Life………

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Okay but why aren’t some of these Christmas season movies? I think narnia really isn’t that big of a stretch

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Snow ≠ Christmas

It was only wintery because of the witch. If anything, it's Easter themed, since it's literally a crucifixion allegory.

Edit: I'm a big dumb wrong person.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Santa is literally in the book. He arms the children.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I remember that was in the movie too!

I need to rewatch those

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

@Zorque

@ZeroCool @qooqie @PapaStevesy the witch cursed Narnia so that it's always winter and never Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

So with Santa's help, the kids saved Christmas. Yeah you're not convincing me that Narnia isn't a Christmas movie

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (5 children)

What’s your case for Home Alone then?

That’s a Christmas movie to the core.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It really depends on whether you can stomach watching Kevin Spacey or not, but The Ref is one of the greatest Christmas movies imo

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME. The corpse still has the floor!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Dennis Leary at his zenith.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Die hard should have been on one and not lethal weapon. Other than that I think those are excellent choices.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Lethal Weapon was written by Shane Black, so by default it's a Christmas movie.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, Onion, some of these literally have Christmas in their titles. That's a stretch, even for you. XD

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The post is from hardtimes.net

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

All my satire is onion and all my consoles are nintendo

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah, but the community here is theonion. The comment applies the same for any of the satire sites.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

🤷‍♀️ I don't enjoy traditional Christmas movies that much and I think it's fun to do something different.

There are 8 billion of us, it's pretty tough to say something original all the time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

'The Ref' is a glaring omission. Burn the website down.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"get a personality" and "that's your whole personality" is just lazy writing. it's a generic insult deployed against anyone who likes a thing that says nothing about the person or the thing. it's the satire equivalent to "vegan bad". why should I read an article written by someone who makes parroting bland criticisms from the internet their whole personality?

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