this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
194 points (98.0% liked)

Not The Onion

11929 readers
1 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

In the first day they sent out flyers, the After School Satan Club already has three students signed up for the new year.

all 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 81 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Bless the After School Satan (ASS) club 🤣 👹

Edit: such a sweet piece of naming it brings a tear to my eye 🍑🫏💦

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Motto: "Come to school for a piece of ASS!"

... I feel bad about writing that.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

"We have room in our ASS for everyone!"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

You make ASS whole!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Why? Its fun(ny)

Get your fill at/in the ASS club is funnier

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I'm pretty sure that's the recruiting theme for Christian school teachers.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Satanic church probably does more good for humanity then those bible thumpers ever have or will...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Not gonna bother looking for sources and just agree that what you said is a fact.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago

It's the Satanic Temple, they do some great stuff.

Then again, my left buttcheek has done more good for humanity that the Bible Trumpers ever will.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Church of Satan is weird, Temple of Satan is 👌

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

Didn't even know there was a difference

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I think all religion is absolutely dumb and superstitious, but I give satanism a pass for the sake of essentially trolling what is considered normal religious standards.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 11 months ago

satanic temple doesn't believe in satan anyway, they're solid.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

They don't troll. They have a believe system they honestly try to teach that is based on human morals instead of radicalized fiction. It's a genuine attempt to replace theistic religion with a religion of the real human existence.

Pastafarianism on the other hand is designed to troll normal religions.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Very interesting

[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago (1 children)

“I just happened to look in my emails and see the letter from the principal coming through saying that it was coming to Chimneyrock," Kincaid said. "I'm about to come unglued right now.”

I'm trying to picture what this looks like. She's on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum over this, which is hilarious and to be honest really sad. These people need to grow up and get over themselves.

Also, why are only grandparents quoted in this article? Is there not enough conservative millennial rage in Tennessee to meet their quota?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Probably worked to death on two jobs, incoherent when interviewed.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

After School Satan Club is an alternative to the evangelical clubs that are in thousands of schools across the United States

This is the way.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

ASS... All the cool kids are doing it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Ave Satanas!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I mean, "after school Satan club" definitely sounds like something the Onion would come up with to make fun of the satanic panic Christian types.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

That's fair. I've been following them for a while, so it doesn't seem strange to me, but I can see what you mean.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

This is correct.