this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
1389 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26305 readers
10 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 192 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"Bruh, can you tuck me in?" πŸ˜‚

[–] [email protected] 59 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Aye bruh, can I get a goodnight kiss?

[–] [email protected] 134 points 11 months ago (6 children)

My daughter calls me Daddio.

It's pretty fucking awesome.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago

Sounds like she is one cool cat.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 111 points 11 months ago (9 children)

My kids already call me bruh.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 77 points 11 months ago (9 children)

I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me. if I was having sex with someone and they called me daddy I'd probably immediately go soft

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago

I get soft even if it just pops up in a title when looking at porn. It's just deeply off-putting.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

Just you wait until you meet people with mommy issues. THOSE you wanna avoid

Mostly because I'm my experience people with mommy issues tend to be male NEETs who are incapable of seeing any woman as just a friend. Usually incels too. I found them to be kind of abusive as people too and turn vindictive when you don't feed into their fantasies. As a woman, it's always the same old story when I encounter these men.

Meanwhile people with daddy issues usually have their shit together regardless of gender.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My partner calls me daddy and she's older yhan me, so... what does that make me???

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 67 points 11 months ago (5 children)

You can do "Pa". It's objectively impossible to sexualize "Pa". You could try, but it'd immediately nuke the mood from orbit.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Note that Pa and papi are very much not the same.

You can totally sexualize "papi". It's hard not to, honestly. Pa, though? Well, check out the rest of these replies and tell me if they sound like flirty sexy times or like they're trying to warn me that we forgot to bring the sheep back in for the night.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You sure about that pa? Ugh. I literally shuttered while typing this.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

Pa~ πŸ₯°πŸ˜‰πŸ˜©πŸ’¦

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"bruh or some shit" is a pretty long name.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 11 months ago

Use the acronym: BOSS

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

They shortened it to just "shit."

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago

It might take a while to get all the syllables, and I fully expect them to get 'mama' first, but I'm gonna aim for 'destroyer of worlds'.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Y'all watch too much porn. Touch grass.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I shall fuck the dirt you walk on!

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago

Tell Dad jokes and all you get it "bruh".

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Aa shitposting, this is hilarious. Given some comments though... It's funny. People think this is a new thing. It's just more in your face due to ubiquitous network we live in today. It has always been thus. Or did you think kinks just started after the Internet?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Steam powered, dildo machines were a thing....

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I henceforth refer to you as some shit

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Ain't that Some Shit

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (10 children)

Thank goodness it's not sexualized in my language

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Sometimes my mom says I'm a good girl when I help her out and it kinda icks me out <.<; I'm like "uuucchh you're my mom, not my dom! Stop calling me that!" but I don't wanna actually say that to her because that seems like it'll just make the matter even more awkward.

Anyway, hi, Lemmy Shitpost, how are you :D πŸ˜…πŸ€£

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (2 children)

you’re my mom, not my dom

This is such a great line but also super niche in situations where it’s appropriate. I think you gotta take the opportunity to drop it next time it appears… you have no choice

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You will be the father, they will be the son, and mom will be the Holy ghost.

porn music starts

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Forgive me father for I have sinned

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sorry daddy I have been bad

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Im vewy sowwy daddy I've been naughty

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My kids call me bruh and I'm their mom, so, eh.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

that guy needs to stop watching so much porn

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago

Yes, daddy. :(

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Pastor boys in shambles

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί