this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 53 points 9 months ago (4 children)

My first thought after laughing at this was... "wtf even IS myyrh, anyway?"

a fragrant gum resin obtained from certain trees and used

Cheap fucking bastard gave the baby Jesus chewing gum.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Myrrh isn't really a chewing gum, moreso a resinous material which can be used as both a binder and a scent. It's often used in incense along with other resins and gums like copal. Other examples of gums include gum Arabic and xanthan gum

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

And frankincense, one of two other gifts of the magi. The third is unaromatic gold, of course. Here's some jewelry and a bunch of funeral scents kid, hope your step-dad got you a toy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Stop ruining my jokes with additional info, damn it!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's used in incense and was worth as much or more than gold because it's hard to collect in mass.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Seems like calling Myrrh “chewing gum” would be akin to calling a factory-new Bugatti Chiron “a busted-ass jalopy”. Which, depending on whom you’re talking to, is exactly what the Bugatti might be, I reckon.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The German word sounds similar to a German word for carrot so as a child I thought that's what he got

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Bet you were wondering wtf was so wise about that wise man.

"I bring you Frankincense!"

"I bring you gold!"

"I bring you carrots, herp derp"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Not to be pendantic, but the wise men were visitors from the far east, not the same Romans that went on to crucify Jesus according to the myth

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago

I think the “we” here is humanity.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well maybe the romans were just faster than them?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

They also had the cooler pole.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And in fairness the Romans did do it, but only at the absolute insistence of the Jewish religious leaders.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Unthankful genZ! Just got a present and all they do is asking unrelated questions. Next time you'll get no myrrh, how does that sound?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

God himself can die for our sins but kids these days just bitch and whine about how "unfair" that is

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Particularly relevant since myrrh was used as a burial spice.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it was the myrrh that resurrected Jesus. I'm taking a bag of myrrh to the cemetery this afternoon and see what havoc I can wreak.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Myrrh at the time was an anointing oil used during burial rights/ preparation, so no.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Jesus, Lazarus, and I can’t think of anyone else who died at the time, but those two came back, so maybe?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

“You get gold.”

“You get frankincense.”

“But wait, there’s myrrh!”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Nailed to the North Pole. Just more proof of war crimes that have been occurring in the War on Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

"Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Meanwhile, to help Mary take her mind off that, here is some nail polish