this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Idiots of Marketplace

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I like the idea that the best advice Jesus could give is "keep on truckin" lol

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes Jesus takes the wheel and sometimes he hands it back to you so you don’t run your truck off the road

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I used to sign bibles in hotel rooms with that exact phrase. This one is definitely not one of mine, though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

That's a good advice, but my favorite is "love thy neighbor".

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Shit yeah, let's go get that bitch authenticated. Worth it just to see wtf they do for that part

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

Authenticator: This does indeed appear to have been signed by Jesus Gonzalez, who works at Walmart with the seller.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, let me sign this book about my future.

Keep on truckin'. 100% legit.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

In modern English, using the Latin alphabet.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

With a ballpoint pen

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

THE LATIN ALPHABET VVAS AROVND AT THE TIME. VVHETHER IESVS KNEVV ABOVT IT IS A DIFFERENT MATTER, THOVGH HE DID HAVE SOME RVN-INS VVITH THE ROMAN EMPIRE, SO MAYBE?

Modern English and trucks though, definitely not.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Technically yes, but if he knew how to write, which is already a highly questionable thing, then it would likely not be in Latin.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He spoke Aramaic, but he was Jewish and Jewish people learn Hebrew reading and writing. He was well versed in scripture, so he probably did know how to read. The Bible talks about him spending a lot of time at the temple as a child, where he likely learned to read and write.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

The bible also says he performed a bunch of magic tricks, as well as a bunch of other nonsense.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

He was executed by the Romans. He definitely knew of the Romans.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Who is this Jesus, he like a celebrity in Mexico or something?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Celebrity? No, he owns a bookstore in Oklahoma. Ask for Jesus Ramirez to get signed copies.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I think he's a MLB player from Puerto Rico.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

wtf no Western Union, does this guy even know how the black market signed Jesus bible market works?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Maybe they rely on temple-based financial intermediaries or something?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

It's also addressed at john wick

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

This post cannot be more American

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

How exactly does one authenticate that Jesus actually signed it? Also he definitely didn't, it wasn't written until 400 ad or later

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

They must have the 3 AD version of the Bible. :P

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Everyone seems to be assuming they meant Jesus Christ, but it's much more likely an actual modern person called Jesus signed it. (If an actual modern person not called Jesus didn't sign it)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Doubtful. Wasn't great with math, either.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Kept dividing by two and getting double, smh.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Well, trucking is capitalized. So, I guess no.