This is hilarious and moving all at once.
this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2023
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Poetry
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A community to celebrate published and OC works of poetry.
Welcome to !poetry
Guidelines & Community Rules
In addition to the general rules of lemmy.world:
Published Poetry
1a: Poetry posts should include the title and the author, when the author is known.
O.C. Poetry
2a: Sharing original poetry is encouraged, but it must be preceded by the tag "[OC]."
2b: If an [OC] post is requesting feedback, it should also follow with the "[FB]" tag. It would look like the following example:
[OC] [FB] Nothing Gold Can Stay
Feedback
All feedback should be given in good faith.
3a: All [FB] requests should be met with comments constructive in nature. It is okay to dislike parts of a poem, but make sure to explain why you feel that way.
3b: Feedback does not need to be extraordinary in nature. Simply expressing how a work makes you feel is often enough.
3c: Use the honor system. When you receive good feedback, return it in kind to another author. Everyone appreciates knowing their work is being read and appreciated.
As this community develops, these guidelines may be adjusted.
Formatting Help
Work in progress
To create a line break, use two spaces at the end of a line.
To create empty space, type .
Use four of these at the beginning of a line to create a standard indent.
UPDATE:
Some methods of access do not format markdown correctly. I am currently testing various apps and web interfaces to see what does and does not retain formatting.
In the interim, it is encouraged to post text poetry as you normally would, but to include a link at the beginning or end of the post with access to a website or image that retains the formatting as intended.
Other Poetry Communities
Poetry lovers unite! In the style of the fediverse, multiple poetry communities have arisen, and will continue to rise. I will try to keep a list here of communities across instances that are worth checking out!
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Isn't it?
Trying to understand English poetry,
is there a structure to this poem?
Looks like the poet just randomly
split sentences into multiple lines
without any specific structure.
I like the content itself, but
what differentiates it from a block of text?
Is there more to this poem
that I fail to understand?
Consider the first two lines. Although they are one sentence they are split into two thoughts.
Also consider the tension created by the author putting a line break after "undress", creating a (gentle) joke/misdirection that's revealed in the next line.
You could apply this reduction to any artform. Your favorite song is "randomly" in 4/4, or "randomly" in D minor, or is "randomly" about someone called Suzanne, or "randomly" features a high note in the middle of the chorus.
Finally, consider a punnet square of
GOOD ART | BAD ART
I LIKE IT
I DONT LIKE IT
it's pretty easy to fill in if I was to show you pieces of art
it's really hard to fill in if you have to define each of the four items before you fill it in, and ask me to fill it in on your behalf with these instructions.
So: what constitutes a good poem, and why doesn't this meet that criteria? What consists a poem you like and why doesn't this meet your criteria?
I ask because, you accuse it of "looking random" as a bad thing - should all good poems not "look random"? Might I ask you to consider that the look of a poem might not be it's only metric of worthiness - even if it's in the "bad art" and "I don't like it" section of the diagram above?
That was some great explanation, thank you! That really helps me see the poem differently. I don't think everything is random about songs, but songs are more obvious for me to understand why they are structured the way they are, where are poetry like this is a bit baffling, probably because I'm not a native speaker.
there's more history feeding these kind of decisions as well. When you're writing - as Shakespeare did - in blank verse, you have to end the line after 5 iambic feet (ten syllables). Shakespeare is considered the king of this because of how he does it.
"Friends. Romans. Countrymen. Lend me your ears."
10 syllables but the speaker is trying to attract the attention of a large crowd. He's counting. Friends (1). Romans (2). Countrymen (3). Lend me your ears (4).
In Othello, Iago says
For when my outward action doth demonstrate
The native act and figure of my heart
In complement extern, 'tis not long after
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve
For daws to peck at. I am not what I am.
Note how the line breaks are sense breaks too. So Shakespeare is skillfully obeying the meter while also lining up the sense of the underlying message.
There's even the same tension/release device of the undressing from the above poem in the last two lines (when I wear my heart on my sleeve... ... ...it gets eaten by birds!)
When you don't have a strict meter (in the same way that modern music nowadays doesn't obey the Sonata form, or the symphony form) you can be more inventive with how you're using form and format to create your work.
You may get some inspiration out of this:
https://owlcation.com/humanities/EE-Cummings-The-Power-of-Structure-and-Form
Something interesting that I noticed was that many impressing words such as "ashamed" or "unclean" rest at the end of the line.
what differentiates it from a block of text?
The form, obviously. The way you encounter the next words.
Iambic Pantemeter is the most common system in American poetry. However, I have forgotten what the hell the rhythm for that actually is so I don't know if this is that or not. I know it doesn't necessarily rhyme and tons of things written in that style are more like speeches or just normal writing.
The "Now is the winter of our discontent..." speech is Iambic pantemeter.
ironically you picked a line that starts with a trochee not an iamb!
Put this in my toaster
😳