this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey's Paw! No strings attached*.

(*) Satisfaction not guaranteed. Wish may backfire unexpectedly.

Just create a post that starts with "I wish ___" and wait for other users to write how your wish didn't turn out how you expected.

If you're feeling inspired, you may even use the wish as a sort of writing prompt.

Example:

Title: I wish for more wishes.

Answer: Granted. A piece of paper the size of a business card appears in your hand with 4 dotted lines for you to fill out your wishes and a little checkbox in front of each. Now to find someone who will grant those...

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I have insomnia and no sleeping pills, help!

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Granted. The next time you start to feel tired you immediately fall into a deep and restful slumber.

Once asleep though you start having a dream where you are at work. As you walk into the office you think to yourself "I wish I could have gotten a little more sleep" and immediately fall asleep in lobby.

As you sleep in the lobby you have a dream that you are a child again, traveling in the backseat of your parents car. You feel more safe and secure there than you have in years, and you consider having a little nap until the trip is over, and immediately fall asleep

Eventually you fall so deep into dreams within dreams that you find yourself in a land of pure fantasy where you are the supreme overlord.

You rule over your dark dominion for the next 3000 years, only occasionally having a recurring nightmare that you are a severe narcoleptic confined to a hospital bed

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can, but the duration of your sleep is completely random. You might sleep for eight hours, you might sleep for five minutes, you might sleep for seventy two hours

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You're a lifesaver! How do I activate it?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Granted. You fall asleep whenever you desire. However, you immediately shit yourself every time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
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