Asklemmy

The only opinion that matters here is your partner's.

That's a decision you have to make along with your partner(s).

Cheating is when you do something that betrays your partners trust.

I couldn't care less if my partners post nudes, anonymous or otherwise, so it wouldn't be cheating for me.

Other people feel differently, and so it could be cheating for them.

I think what's important here is discussing it with your partner because it is a form of sex work.

That's absolutely your decision and your right, it's your body - but your partner should get to choose whether they want to date someone who is doing that.

Having removed metadata and with nothing recognizable in the pic.

Not really relevant, that's like saying ordinary cheating isn't cheating if you wear a good disguise.

Whether something, anything, is considered "cheating", is based on whatever the two people in a relationship agree shall be considered cheating. It's their relationship, their rules. An oral contract (pun intended).

If you have enough thoughts wondering if it is wrong, it probably is. Communication is key in a relationship. If they are cool with it, then do your thing. If you're too afraid to tell them then you already know the answer.

I'm poly; I don't have a personal definition of cheating in that context. My partner is a grown-up and can do what she wants; I can barely see how that's even my business, let alone my problem.

But if you pretend to follow a given set of rules, while actually secretly breaking them - that's pretty much the definition of cheating in any context.

If your partner would be not-OK with some activity, but you want to do it, then you either do it anyway and face the conflict head on, or you don't do it at all.

Selling nudes specifically - some would care a lot, some would be fine with it, and the only way to know is to ask. But sneaking around because you assume it'd be a dealbreaker if they found out - no bueno. No bueno at all.

It's cheating and the fact that you are asking shows you know it is.

I'd be concerned if my partner hid a job from me.

Given data is irrelevant to the question. Anonymous or not, it depends on what your partner thinks about this. And if you don't want your partner to know, then you already know the answer.

Nah not cheating but definitely something that should be discussed in a relationship.

Posting nudes is not cheating. Not telling your partner you're posting nudes is cheating.

Send them to me and I'll tell you if it's cheating

If it's something we previously discussed and agreed on, no. Hell, I might even help if they want.

If it was done in secret, I'm not sure if I'd quite call it cheating but it's at least a lie of omission: What other secrets are being kept? Why should I keep trusting this person if they aren't honest with me?

Backing all these comments that say it's about communication. If I found out my partner has been selling nudes, hiding it from me, and also hiding the money? An unforgivable betrayal of my trust and our relationship. If he came to me beforehand and we discussed it and the money went towards our mutual goals, it would at least be something I'd consider.

The whole point is not hiding it from your partner. Discuss things before you do them.

No but everyone's definition of cheating is different. If I found out, I'd ask that my partner communicate that she's doing it, maybe include me in some way, like taking the pictures.

I don’t think so, but having partner buy-in is def important. Actors that do sex scenes or models that take nude photos/videos aren’t generally considered cheaters for doing so, but doing it in secret might be a breach of trust.

No but if your partner feels the need to hide this from you it's a good moment for reflection

This depends entirely on what boundaries you have set in your relationship(s), and whether the person who is doing the sex work is open about it with the other partner(s)

Example 1: Relationship is established as monogamous, person is open about performing sex work and is not doing things behind their partner's back/trying to hide it, and both parties are satisfied that it falls within the boundaries they've set in their relationship - not cheating!

Example 2: Relationship is established as polyamorous, people involved have several partners and metamours. Person doing the sex work is not open with one or more of their partners about it, tries to hide it or do it behind people's backs, or does so despite it being outside of the boundaries set with one or more of their partners - cheating!

As with the vast majority of things in this vein, it's all about the individuals involved.

No because I define cheating as sex with a non partner without the partner’s knowledge or permission.

But it still ain’t great and should absolutely be discussed with them. Hiding shit like that never works out and it will just damage or destroy trust when they find out.

It's definitely not cheating, but it still may upset your partner. I'd discuss it with them if I were you.

Not cheating, but without her knowledge or permission it just kind of makes you a piece of shit

Whose nudes? Yours or your partners?

No but also I'm poly so my boundaries on what is cheating are way different from most the population

Whose nudes?

Not "cheating" per se, but still bad.