this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 42 comments
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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm going to say "I hope we don't get off on the wrong foot" and then they're going to ask me to leave.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Either that or you'll be sole-mates.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bravo. This is a great joke that I will never have the right context to repeat...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Life is cruel like that.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

If the hotness is high, I will comply.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It would be rude not to

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People with foot fetish: 。⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠。

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Idk man I like feet and this is... unappealing

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Put an eye on each big toe and you have a spider!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

...brb, gonna paint my toenails.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm gonna put my foot up your ass 😏

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’d think the bed was ugly, but I wouldn’t say a damn thing. I’d just use those big toes for leverage.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At that point aren't you playing footsie with the bed?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Hey, I’m down with a threesome

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The best kind of sex!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Then we are gunna do the bad thang on the good foot.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I would feel defeeted

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I want to leave, but the doors are already sealed. Suddenly I hear a faint voice next to my ear: "Take off your socks"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

... it's Shia LeBeouf!!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Obviously I would look past all the positive attributes my crush has and never see them again. Following my retreat I would then begin to evaluate everyone elses taste while placing my own above them. Naturally, they would all fall short aswell and I will seclude myself entirely. Then I will become frustrated that I have no strong connections with anyone because they are beneath me and no one understands my greatness.

All because I couldn't see that that bed was funky and cool in a weird way.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Why would have you a crush on Quagmire?!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It’s a little bothersome that be toes don’t touch the ground

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd get real anxious about not having had time to tidy up my toenails.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

This guy knows what's up.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

First I sit at the foot of the foot bed.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

apologize. not everyone's kinks are universal and feet aren't my thing, and my feet lol... sometimes they're well groomed but on average tend toward goblin toes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

If they're a podiatrist, it might be ok

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'm frog leaping the big toes for a grand entrance.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I would just cum. We would all do it, don't lie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

If I was red foreman I’d ask if they ever shoved a foot up their ass.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I like the first pic where it's in an empty office space.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It's kind of sinister there

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

"For sale, office foot bed, lightly used"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I guess I'm getting a footjob, idk

Maybe discuss that it's anatomically questionable, the testosterone morphism of the toe lengths aside it also has all toes curled except for the big toe: despite having very capable feet myself I cannot do that and I'm not sure other people can.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Funny, I can easily do that and assumed everyone could

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

same. ugly feet but prehensile toes are handy for picking shit up.

[–] UndercoverUlrikHD 1 points 1 year ago

I'm not sure other people can.

Can confirm that some people can, also allows for a way stronger pinch than with fingers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

In a word, "sploosh"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago