Autism

This does sound like burnout, especially if lately is more than a couple of weeks. I'm sorry you're going through this. But I'd absolutely recommend against pushing yourself. As I've painfully learned, none of this will get better by doing more, but by doing less, and you have to learn how to do less because it's hard.

And you need help, some mental health professional that knows how to work with autistic patients. If not, there's a risk people will give you productivity advice and this can be counterproductive and dangerous.

You might need meds. I did.

I pushed myself through several burn outs until my brain stopped working (I couldn't think, my place could be burning and I wouldn't have even tried to escape. My brain didn't work). If it wasn't for my partner I could have died.

But this happened at the end of many "small" burnouts that I pushed through. Each burnout made the next one worse.

The reason I pushed through was because like you, it felt like I was not able to stop without losing too much. For me, this ended up with long term consequences.

I would absolutely recommend finding a way to slow down, even if it costs. If you burn out completely your brain will simply force you to slow down. This cost is higher than you can imagine. Achieving my goals has definitely taken longer than if I had found a way to slow down by myself.

If you absolutely are unable to slow down at work (for example if you live in a country without sick leave where you can get fired anytime and your parents are truly awful), then you need to do less on your spare time. No productivity, no forcing yourself through hobbies, no trying to regulate or mask.

Do anything that takes no effort or expectations. Don't try to regulate your time off, take naps as needed. Exercise is good, but you have to do it without goals or strict schedules. Keep yourself hydrated and fed. Take all the help if available, even if it feels temporarily less independent.

It feels like giving up, you'll get FOMO, you'll feel isolated and less independent, it sucks. You'll wonder why it's not getting better faster. But if your brain can recover a little, you will start slowly gravitating to some of the things you like. Even then, take it slowly and without expectations.

It might be just a light depression (from unfulfilling jobs most probably), which, yes, if left untreated, can become more serious. I'd advise you to see a psychiatrist (not a therapist), describe the symptoms and see what he/she has to say. Perscription medication can have just the right nudge to push you in the right direction 😉. I've been strggling with depression for many years and I've been on meds on and off... it is what it is 🤷... today's world, the harshness of it, combined with the lack of empathy from others, constant rise in tech and the demand for it, which alienates people even further... it all contributes. In the end, everyone reacts to it differently, some like it, some turn to full blown workoholics, some just get depressed 🤷.

Not a full solution by any means, but I’ve been using this calendar called Reclaim that has really helped me make time to rest and still get everything done. It automatically schedules everything for you into your Google Calendar based on restraints, as well as any habits or meetings. It’s really helped me prioritize better and see everything I’m doing in one place. The best part is when I add something to my calendar, like a dentist appt for example, it will automatically move everything around for me while still keeping my top priorities at the forefront of my schedule. It’s kinda hard to explain, there’s a lot more to it, but yeah just a tool that has worked really really well for me so far. I think there’s a solid free plan too.

Ultimately, you need to make time for genuine actual rest. Rest is very productive. Get outside, get a glass of water, take a nap—let yourself feel how you actually feel for a moment and be okay with it. Be okay with not being productive in that time too. There’s very real things we need to do in life, but we are not machines. We need rest. Scrolling on your phone or snacking isn’t rest though—it cannot be unhealthy coping, it’s gotta be intentional and good for the soul.

Last thing that has helped me is trying to find fun in the boring stuff. I know it sounds lame, but the idea is that we have the ability to change our feelings and perspectives towards things. Make the boring daily things fun in your mind, learn ways you can enjoy them, let the wonder creep in, and change things up in your environment to make it less dreary and monotonous.

And hey, you got a support network here. Sometimes we need help through the practical stuff, but sometimes there’s some deep emotional stuff we aren’t aware of and we need to process through. Either way, don’t ever do it alone. There’s some pretty incredible people here with some pretty incredible life experience. Don’t give up—we’re gonna get through this together.

In some respects, there's no addressing this problem.

If you're impoverished enough to be incapable of taking time off of work, that's because of legislation and leadership that have dumped poor people in the dirt for the last half century in favor of corporate interests. The burnout from that - incessant forced labor - cannot be recovered from without reasonable wealth distribution and employment regulations.

Counseling definitely helps. You may be suffering from something that we can't fix unless we can fix it as a society. I hope we're moving in that direction, because I'm right there with you. Drowning.

I feel this from time to time, and for me it's a very chemical feeling that comes about due to not enough sleep and (unhelpfully) not enough caffeine.

I also feel it if I've not been dong anything to stimulate myself mentally lately. Create something, anything.