“Are you two trying for a baby yet?”
“Not that it’s your business, but I prefer facials to creampies.”
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
58 points (100.0% liked)
Asklemmy
43902 readers
1122 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
My partner gave the reply "No, we're just practicing", the lady looked horrified. You asked about a near stranger's sex life, lady. I don't know what she expected.
I am stealing this, tell your partner thanks!
“Hard to get pregnant the way we do it. Pull-out isn’t reliable enough so we go for the poophole loophole.”
Another good one is to horrify them- get quiet and uncomfortable, and say something about how the doctors think you're infertile.
Assuming these are people you just met, of course.
You don't even have to get quiet and uncomfortable. Just saying it matter-of-factly gets them all horrified as well.
True, but getting quiet puts a point on exactly how personal their question was.
Lmao. I love it. Be as vulgar and personal as possible.
"I prefer for my husband to shoot his cum into my asshole or all over my face"
How big is your dick?
This was asked by the daughter of a patient while I was working home health.
She was 14.
I did not go back lol.
My answer was, " ma'am, that's not a question to ask someone, much less an adult you barely know."
Home health can be fun lol.
That's actually a good response, I think I would be stunned by such a question.
I was lol
.
"Idk ask your mom"
aRe YoU a ToP oR A bOTToM??
Absolute strangers will ask you that the moment they find out you're gay.
Are you the man or the woman????
My response is usually “are you the man or the woman in your relationship?”
We’re both men, that’s the whole point!
"We're both the woman"
“Why, trying to figure out if we’re compatible?”
I believe some comedian suggested to respond with a similar vulgar question about their sex life. I think that's a fair point.
Tho you can always ask them if their first question to a stranger is a deeply personal one to get their own perversions fed. That way you are still on the high horse :)
Just say "we're both the bottom" and confuse the shit out of them. Or "he's the bottom and I'm the girl"
"Are you always this quiet?"
"It usually takes me some time to be comfortable around new people."
I've found that people are usually quite understanding and make an effort to include you in conversations if you just be honest with them instead of being snarky.
I just stare at them.
“How’s the job search coming?” is usually meant to be encouraging, but it can feel like a stab in the back if you read it as “still unemployed, huh?”
What can help is to approach this from a “seen any job opening that piques your interest?” view. Think of 2-3 positions, locations, etc., that you can talk about with some interest. Maybe you’ve never worked in that field, so you tell the person that you hadn’t considered it before and what might draw your interest, or there’s an opening in a city/place you’ve never been and you can talk about that. Most people aren’t looking for the spiel, so this satisfies them without embarrassing either of you.
This doubles as practicing interview questions (“why do you want this job?”) that you’ll need in the future, anyways.
Q: "Do you think you will ever love your adopted son as much as a real parent would?"
Fuuuuuuck you...
"Is it that you can't have children?"
Reply that never fails: "What was your intention when you asked that question?"
Most trans-related questions i get from strangers are unreal, and over time ive just started answering with something that is equally not my business
That's actually a good response, I think I would be stunned by such a question.
view more: next ›