this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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And that it's genetic, so that it's passed down to all his descendants; and that all people who marry into the family also have it happen to them

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Granted. You've now learned you're a bastard child of Donald Trump.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

(a) that's redundant

(b) it's a consequence I'm willing to accept

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Congratulations, OP, you made them happier.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

This one's free. You get another go.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Since it's genetic, this condition emerges in countless others who are not connected to the Trump family

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's too late, someone already got their wish millennia ago. You just can't actually taste with them. https://askabiologist.asu.edu/taste-outside-mouth

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Taste buds, not just taste receptors.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I think a similar issue might still apply if they're not connected properly to the taste processing centre in the brain. In fact, it might increase absorption in the gut with the extra surface area. So maybe they'd be able to pull more nutrition from their diet but end up a little more constipated.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Wish granted, but as a monkey's paw the easiest way for me to grant this wish is to simply make it the case for all humans.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The man puts ketchup on his steak and lives off of McDonald's. He has no taste as it is lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There's a song for this, but it has a different vibe than you would think!

King Khan & BBQ Show - Tastebuds.

Lyrics

[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 year ago

Wish granted, but the same thing happens to the poorest people in the country.