this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] collimated_thought 52 points 1 year ago

My time to shine.

I was travelling through there with my family and my wife says she wants a picture of the Sandwich Police because, hey, why not. We figure the has to be cop cars at the police station, right? So we cruise by, she rolls down the window and takes a picture of their parking lot. So now we're sitting there, looking at our GPS figuring out where to go next. Cue the flashing red and blue lights. Yup, one of the cops had pulled up behind us asking why we were taking pictures of a secure location. Fortunately we were able to explain and it turned into a humorous situation. The cop was surprisingly cool and let us take pictures of his cruiser. He joked that, "yes, we're the Sandwich Police, we make sure a foot long is actually a foot long."

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"What seems to be the problem here?"

"This man claims a hotdog is a sandwich."

"Is this true?"

"They are! They're open-faced sandwiches!"

"I've heard enough. Take him away, boys."

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

Sandwich Police: SWU (Special Wraps Unit)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Hot dogs are tacos, lock him up.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Structurally, what's the difference between a hotdog and a submarine sandwich?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The canopy.

Hotdog can't go underwater.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Bake him away toys

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

They seriously drove around in these cars.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My dad used to tell me about the city of Peanut Butter in Illinois, on Route 34, near Plano and Sandwich.

Plano, Peanut Butter, Sandwich.

I miss him.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I had a friend from Plano who would joke that they just needed a town named “Bologna” in between Plano and Sandwich.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

ACAB includes the sandwiches.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Or as we call them in the Biz, pigs in a blanket

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really hope they are the cops who arrested Jared from Subway.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah, the city of Sandwich wasn't going to stand for someone besmirching their good name.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are there any towns in the US named Donut?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Well that was a pointless search I went on.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interestingly Sandwich, Massachusetts (1637) is actually older than the sandwich itself (1762).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Because it's named after the place that the Earl the food is named after was from.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

The "ICH POLICE" with the door opened is a rather Schwarzenegger way to state your occupation, too 👌

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Sandwich Crimes include:

  • Calling a hotdog bun filled with groundbeef and kraft american cheese a "Cheese Steak"
  • Selling a Mushroom Swiss burger with Lettuce, Tomato, Unfried Onions, Pickles, Ketchup and Mustard.
  • ~~The bite of `87~~
  • Putting Tomatoes on a breakfast sandwich
  • Calling a Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich a "Napoleon Ice Cream Sandwich" (French)
  • Making a Bread & Bread Sandwich.
  • Everything at Arby's.
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When Gordon Ramsay becomes a cop

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"You donut! Mmmm, donut...."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Gordon: WHAT ARE YOU. criminal: a a a criminal sandwich.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

isn't there a town called "fucking" somewhere, maybe in Germany? do the have the "fucking polizei"?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

It is (was) in Austria. They changed their name to Fugging because people kept stealing their signs. They are also way too small for having their own police force (only 108 people live there). Also, Austrian police cars usually do not feature the city name on the car. And if they did, It would probably be "Polizei Fucking", not "Fucking Polizei" because this word order is more natural to native speakers. If you wanted to say police from/of Fucking, you'd say "Fuckinger Polizei".

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There used to be, in Austria. They even had a beer, called "Fucking Hell". And Pornhub gave free premium subscriptions to the Fucking citizens.

Until 2020. Then they renamed their little town to "Fugging". I don't think it's a coincidence that the whole world went to shit pretty much right after.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Austria I believe

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Better than the car saying "City of Oklahoma City police"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We've got a Sandwich in Illinois too! They were smart enough to mark their vehicles "POLICE - Sandwich, IL" though.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Illinois also has the JUSTICE POLICE. And they sure as shit write it out that way. My one interaction with the Justice police was extremely pleasant, too (we were visiting "ghost sites" from a book our high school teacher gave us after he passed)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The ghost of your high school teacher gave you a book? Sick!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've fixed (and driven) the Sandwich Police cruisers, they unfortunately lack anything worth eating on the inside.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I dunno, I bet they're at least half full of pork.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There's a town in California called Weed...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Sadly, the cop cars there say "City of Weed" on them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's two towns, surprise and climax all on rte 81 in upstate NY

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Surprised to climax? /s

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Does their Earl still rule on high? Remember they had some of the upper crust in that town, true douchebags.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

This elicited a good chuckle out of me. TIL

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

There's a town called Sandwich in England and I indeed went to their Sandwich shop

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Imagine if they had a town named doughnut.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

None in murrica, but there are a few named bacon

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I thought France is bacon?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They have one named Braintree.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

They also have one called Florida

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Burn the Sandwitch town, it's full of sand witches!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I hear they arrested Oran J. Roughy, an international fugitive wanted for the embezzlement of over 75,000 bucks worth of ham sandwiches.