this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Group of enemies? Fireball

Single enemy? Fireball.

Wall? Fireball

Friendly NPC? You better believe it's Fireball

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Overcook / undercook.

Let's be honest: mostly overcook. Because of Fireball.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

Overcook

Well done

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

We have the best dungeons in the world. Because of fireball.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Even when facing fire elementals or dragons?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

How many long rests are you taking every day?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Me and the boys deleting a monster:

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

D&D, where the only winning move is to not play at all.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

"Crap. Did anybody slot Magic Missile? Anybody? Oh come on!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I mean fireball doesn't miss either

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

It can't miss, but it can do half damage.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I'm playing a wizard in one of my current campaigns, and when we hit level 5 I started writing my PC's will.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You should be saving for a preemptive True Res. Only 10,000 gp

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wait, can you pay that in advance? Like a divine IOU? A signed card from your deity, reading "get out of death free?"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I expect an IOU costs more, and involves a bunch of priests coming to you to collect your corpse, take you to the chosen temple space, and rez you. Sort of like an NRMA membership meaning they are coming and getting you and your broken car to a mechanic.

Here's an idea for a campaign; Our heros have been hired to go collect the remains of a hero who paid for this similar-to-NRMA service.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Saving Private Ryan 2: Whoops.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah complete with "so that dragon this guy was intending to go slay? It not only took him out, now it is alert and pissed off. Good luck!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Cleaning up after a TPK sounds like a hilarious and tense way to dungeon-crawl. Following breadcumbs left by typical murderhobos: empty vials, lesser weapons, whatever's left of some extremely deceased wildlife. Nothing left except whatever moved in when the apex predators were blasted to smithereens, and anything properly scary that the party sealed off, ran from, or somehow snuck past.

Then you finally reach several undignified stiffs - one doing the Final Fantasy face-plant, another in the Family Guy crumple, two feet sticking out under opposite sides of a giant boulder - and all of their high-level gear is strewn about, among the other treasures. You're only required to grab a meaningful portion of each body, before rapidly de-assing the area. But there's a lot of room in this wheelbarrow.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Lol.

Ran a similar campaign years ago of a for-profit ambulance service in Shadowrun. Difference there was they had to extract their paying customers before they died, yet didn't know to do so until after they'd hit the panic button. Good times.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

"What is my purpose?"

"You werf flammen."

"Oh my god."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I remember one Dark Heresy campaign where the majority of damage caused to the players was dropped grenades and Molotov cocktails.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

"I'm telling you, molotov cocktails work. Any time I had a problem and I threw a molotov cocktail - boom, right away, I had a different problem."

  • Jason Mendoza
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Whenever I have a problem, I chuck a fireball at it, and BOOM! I have a different problem.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

We've a gnome wizard in our party who focuses on fire magic. Our last combat involved the DM rolling out small groups of minions each round. They were coming out of an airship and stayed grouped up. You bet your ass that gnome spent 3 turns in a row casting 3 fireballs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Produce flame is one of my cantrips
Fire is fun

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

I miss Improved Evasion.