this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
715 points (95.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26305 readers
8 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
715
nooooooo (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

For newer users, the 3 day no poop post was an legendary asklemmy post where OP asked how they could go three days without shitting. We never found out why.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 184 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago

👏Here, have my digital applause.👏

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

What is dead may never die!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Magnificent! LMAO

[–] nieceandtows 139 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Why the fuck would it get removed? It’s part of Lemmy lore now.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah that’s kind of a smooth brain move on the mods part tbh

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Two other possibilities. 1) the user did it, or 2) the user started posting some crap, got banned, and lemmy’s trash mod tools encouraged “delete all posts.” Lemmy mod tools are truly garbage.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is it possible see the listed reason in mod log?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Yes, if it was removed by a mod. If it was deleted by the creator, then no.

Also strictly speaking maybe no if the admin of the user's instance did some special fuckery. Every post or comment is hosted first on the user's instance, then federated, so if the user's instance is running altered lemmy code then it could do all sorts of funky shit.

Edit: @[email protected] is still around, so maybe they'll come and answer. That should have sent them a mention, the instance agnostic link for them is /u/[email protected] (if your app can handle those, it will be a link on the website). Seems like they deleted all their comments.

Edit2: The original post still exists for me: https://lemm.ee/post/241183. You'll have to browse their profile using the instance agnostic link to see if it's on your instance.

Edit3: I see nothing on the lemmy.world instance, looks like they wiped their account entirely. Yet their posts do seem to exist still on some other instances.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I archived the federated post in-case it goes poof.

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/BxVd1

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

That's not the federated post, that's the current lemm.ee post - which won't include any of the user's comments (they are deleted on lemm.ee).

The federated post is always on the user's instance. In this case, even though the community it was posted in was lemmy.ml, the user was in lemmy.world, so that is the federated host. This is the link to the federated post, but it's been deleted so you just get an error: https://lemmy.world/post/440073

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

what if they deleted it because they hate being asked about it? and now we're here calling them out on their poop misadventures

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is the internet, we don't delete things here.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

One of the biggest tragedies of the Internet: you can't delete stuff you want deleted, only stuff you expected to stay around, keeps getting deleted.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (14 children)

Reading these comments, I now suddenly feel weird that I only shit twice a week. I eat daily 2-3 times and my shits aren't even painful or unusually big... Sometimes just 2 rolls and done... I also weigh around the 60kg, so I have no idea where all the food/shit goes... 🤷‍♂️

Maybe I'm becoming like Axe Cop and my body has a higher % waste-efficiency... 😂😅

Either way, once every 3-4 days is perfectly normal for me... Has been all my life... 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Yeah how many rolls do you use per shit?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I guess by roll he means log.

I’ve never really heard a piece of shut referred to as a roll before. Maybe it’s a non English language thing.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (7 children)

If i eat a slice of ham 2-3 times a day, i would shit once a month, probably. If you weigh around 60kg then i assume you dont eat very large meals.

A while back, i weighed around 20 stone i was eating 3 meals a day (occasionally 4 if we got a cheeky late night mcdonalds) and snacks randomly through the day. I would shit once a day sometimes twice a day.

Just for comparison.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

i eat pretty large (but healthy) meals maybe 3 or 4 times per day and deliver payloads like every day or every two days, rarely twice per day.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Not an expert but a random thing I heard was: anywhere between 3 times a day, and once every 3 days is normal.

For me it depends on how stressed I am and how much fibre I eat. What I do know is that gut health is complicated.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't drink coffee right

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm a 12-100 times a day dude. I hate you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The "why?" Was because this was in the middle of the Oceangate search and the search had been going on for about 3 days at that point.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, that kinda makes sense.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

But it also makes it more hilarious!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago (6 children)

My friend's kid used to take ~1 shit a week. What happened is, he got constipated one time and had a very painful shit. Naturally, he didn't like it, who would, but was too young to understand the situation was abnormal. So, logically, in order to avoid pain while shitty he decided to avoid shitting as long as possible, which resulted in painful shits because it's a week's worth coming out at once.

Ended up being self-fulfilling. This went on for at least several months if not longer than a year.

So, to answer how not to shit for 3 days; apparently willpower is enough.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

While potty training, my daughter held her poop for over a week. We had to cave and let her use a diaper, because she was at risk of permanent injuries. Then suddenly one day she decided diapers were for babies and started pooping in the toilet.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then suddenly one day she decided diapers were for babies and started pooping in the toilet

Watch out though, apparently this can flip right back like a light switch.

For instance, my dad turn 76 and bam, right back to diapers.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jesus… I poop 2-4 times every day.

I HAVE done a three-day zero-poo adventure many times at festivals. Usually I’d just eat those heavy bars and beef sticks. Then on the way back we’d stop at whatever place has the greasiest food, order an appetizer sampler, and just destroy the place’s toilets.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't want to be friends

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Woah, I did the same thing. My parents ended up taking me to several pediatric Psychologists to help figure out what the problem was, including some quack that tried to say I was acting out in subconscious anger because my Grandfather was a Freemason! Not, you know, the fact I didn't realize that bowel movements aren't supposed to be painful. I think I made it for two weeks once although I wasn't keeping exact score. And yes, I did end up in the ER over it at least once that I can remember.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It has to exist on The Wayback Machine or something.

Actually, do you have the url to where the post originally was?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Yes shit post! This is Lemmy shit post.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

The admins do not take kindly to shitposting and satire. I joined to make shitposts but when I found out how hard everyone hates that kind of thing, now I just bitch about tech and politics

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I was wondering why my comments keep getting removed without notice.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Quick, somebody check on the can of bean post!

(Also, it's because Mizu deleted their account and it deletes all the info associated with it, because it doesn't show their account as banned.)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My guess is it had something to do with a girl, like staying together at a remote or intimate place.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Dudes I'm feeling all blocked up over this

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

One time I went five days without pooping.

when I finally unloaded the pile I felt so much better. I had to sit on the toilet for nearly an hour, but god damn it felt good to poo after all that time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh that's easy. Eat nothing but cheese until the desired outcome is achieved. You, uh, might want to have some stool softener and laxatives in your medicine cabinet for when you're done with your insane experiment though.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Dairy does the exact opposite to me

load more comments
view more: next ›