3060ti often outperforms the 4060. Honesty, with 40xx series prices and mediocre performance, I would be on the hunt for a used 3080/3090. Short/no warranty is a downside, but personally I feel the cost difference makes up for it. That being said, I have a 3060ti and have no problem with playing at 1440p. I hit max refresh target rate in my competitive games and can accept lower frame rates on single player or less competitive MP games
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A 4060 won't do. Look here: https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/A4PfY3XtVKdAWjkQD9uhLZ-970-80.png.webp
Oh and you also need a decent CPU of course.
Heres the options I'd go with
AMD: 6800xt or 6950xt (or the two cards in-between) 7700 XT or up
I'm using the 6950xt but you'll want to have a 1000w Psu for this model specifically. It also handles every game I run at 1440p 165 ultra And vr it can do 90fps ~4k on everything I throw at it
I like AMD most for your situation unless you're really into VR and need every single frame (Nvidia performs just a few percentages better in VR) Or if you really need Ray tracing, AMD can do it but not as well obviously.
For Nvidia You're going to want that 4070 for sure, or higher obviously but it will be more expensive. You could go with a 3080 or 90 too for similar performance for less cause last gen. Personally I don't like supporting Nvidia and would suggest you don't either.
For Intel: The a770 limited edition could be a choice if money is the biggest concern. But you will not be able to do VR currently and there's some weird minor issues that pop up here and there, and it's only equivalent to a 3070 or 6750xt and those cards will probably get you ~144fps on high or ultra depending on the games.
Just got my new pc and my goal was similar. 1440p @144 FPS for new games on max settings without ray tracing. I needed to buy an 7900xtx because an 4080 wasn't strong enough and a 4090 is too owerpriced.
If you actually want to hit 165FPS, you will totally need an 4090.
At 1440p 4090 gets 240+ fps. 4080 is more than capable of 1440p@165 fps