I haven't really changed much as a person. I'm still the same dork I was in my 20.
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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Wow, really?
I have massively changed, to the point I'm almost scared about who I'll be in my 60s (fortunately, due to the boomers it'll probably explode by then, anyway!).
And I barely trust who I am now, knowing it's inauthentic to my youth identity and probably my elderly identity (why I think there's only 3 - who knows? This isn't really rational)
Point is, as I've aged I've become more conflicted (I guess in reality, I'm ignoring an existential crisis which bleeds into other topics)
When I was a kid I thought adults knew stuff and had life figured out. I grew up to realize that no one knows shit.
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Everyone my age is angry about something that happened two decades ago and is working off a mental life story that "explains" why they are doing awful things. As if they get angry enough or disagree enough it can somehow backwards correct the unfixable.
I find it surprising that conversations and interactions with my cohort are basically an eternal thanksgiving dinner without the food or happiness. People are reduced to sore points, don't mention x, don't talk about anything related to x, whatever you do dont downplay x. They will demand you take a side about x.
That I started to not care about latest tech gadgets, and I just want to use old reliable ones that just work for my use cases. In fact I still don't understand the point of tablets, except some rare use cases, and I still prefer my desktop computer to anything else.
I saw that change happen with my boss.
He got an iPhone 3G when it came out and then every year when Apple would release a new phone he HAD to have the latest one as soon as it came out.
Once Apple released the iPhone X he changed his tune and got fed up with the UI changing around and unfamiliarity and decided to stick with his 8 and whatever version of iOS until he was forced to replace it.
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My joints hurt. I'm around 30, and I beat the shit out of my body through my late teens-mid twenties. My joints feel like they're about 20 years older than the rest of me some days. Fun experiences for the most part, but I'm paying for those minor injuries piling up over the years.
Welcome to the club. Except I'm in my early twenties and never got to beat the shit out of my body, it did it all on its own. But still welcome, I recommend a heating pillow, a weight blanket and staying away from the cold and draft.
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How it makes me understand more and more of my parents' actions and opinions that I questioned or condemned when I was younger. So maybe even...becoming more conservative in a way.
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How much shit I've had wrong with me this entire time that I didn't realize was happening because it wasn't as bad and I was young