this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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Lung extensions (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Image of a hand holding a small business card. Card reads:

Dr Crobar’s Lung Extensions Shh! Don't tell anyone I handed you this card

With extended lungs you can: • Scream longer • Breathe harder • Brag about extended lungs

This procedure is not legal but I will do it for you. Do not tell the police or my family

[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nerevar you fool, do not fall for Dr crobars scam. He will not expand your lung. That is impossible Nerevar. I Dagoth Ur(the god) had extended lungs for a while until i grew to not need lungs anymore. It is a grand and intoxicating waste of money and time. I could breathe so well that i could hear the gnomes in my walls. But you will never be able to. You are not a god like I Dagot Ur(the god). No Nerevar, i cannot teach you. In fact i do not wish to teach you. You shouldn't even attempt to have larger lungs. Nerevar, look! Over there! An Argonian Maid! Go, run. Maybe she's lusty

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

This is my new favorite account on Lemmy.

Also fuck you Dagoth, I heard you talking shit. The wall gnomes tell me your boys haven't touched grass in so long that their faces rotted off. Maybe if you got rid of that yee-yee ass golden mask you might get some goddesses on your dick. N'waaaaaah

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Morrowind memes in the wild. What a time to be alive!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Nerevar, do not threaten me, especially not one week before my grand honeymoon. Has the gnome population within your walls multiplied once more? Very well, I shall handle it. But first, allow me to indulge in this newfound fascination called "Skibidi Toilet" on this realm's peculiar platform known as YouTube. It boasts over twenty episodes, and the man with the television for a head has just experienced a change in hue, turning red for the first time.

Nerevar, return swiftly! It seems they are now flushing them down the abyss!

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The "or my family" gets me every time.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Every time? How many lung extensions did you get? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago

Death metal vocalists hate him!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Finally I can finish a cigarette in a single breath

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

You spelled joint wrong.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Anyone brave enough to send an email? Curious what he charges.

[–] [email protected] 82 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (7 children)

I sent an email. Will update with update.

Update: received automated response. Response

[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So let us know how it went on Thursday, mate.

Otherwise, it's been nice knowing you 👍🏻

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

He did not tell us. RIP

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

It’s illegal due to high mortality rate made me lol. Probably ≈100%

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago
[–] lhamil64 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Where does that link go to?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Probably here: https://sites.google.com/view/msoespace/our-success-stories/dr-brenner-crowbar

Cracks me up that all the quotes are from the people vs crobar.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The picture of the business card in the OP is the same picture used in the site linked in the email (and in your post)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

That shit it absolute genius.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Where does the link to learn more information about the procedure point?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Thanks! Do you mind dropping him an offer and sharing the response too?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is anybody else getting the urge to print some of these and leave them in public places among normal business cards?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I’ve recently seen some of these at a local Smog check place in SoCal, among 40 other local business cards.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I know, I assumed it was a local jokester, no idea the gag was this big lol.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I love having my lungs go down into my thighs, it's so fun when I sit down!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Didn't you get the full pamphlet? They hang over like extended breasts, duh.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm emailing them let's see if someone actually has that email

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Look further into the comments, someone already emailed them and got a response LOL!

But hey, if you get a response that differs from that, by all means share it. 👍

Long Lung Club!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

How does this work? Does he stretch your lungs or graft cadaver lungs on to yours? Maybe edits your dna??

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Everyone has the potential to have Long Lung, Dr simply shows your lung the potential they always have had inside them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Lungs are holes, he just extends them. You actually lose weight too so that's a bonus.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This fella is one letter short of being called Dr. Crowbar.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I think that's the point.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Why can’t this be real?