this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
405 points (97.4% liked)

internet funeral

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I saw a documentary about Kellogg a while back.

That man had issues.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nothing some good wholesome grains couldn't ~~cure~~ suppress.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

And a yogurt enema, of course.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Who's worse: Kellogg or the Oneidas?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Given his theories I'm convinced the man had some sort of food/gainer fetish he didn't know how to deal with

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oops. I accidently added marshmallow and chocolate and now I am even hornier.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Eat more crackers... RTFM

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

no longer unwanted, now you want s’more

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Let's not forget corn flakes and granola.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Corn flakes and granola? Sounds awful. One or the other please.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Big note, Kellogg himself was extremely insistent that neither should be sweetened. Old school American fundamentalism, the kind of shit that got the puritans kicked out of Europe.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I wish it wasn't so difficult to find unsweetened cereal nowadays

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Kellogg was extremely insistent about a lot of things lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You disrespectin my Honey Bunches of Oats?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I remember my friends and myself looking up "things to do instead of drugs" on some anti drug website once back in high school. Pretty much all of the suggestions had to do with playing in snow. We lived in the tropics with zero snow. So we bought an eight ball and went skiing instead.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

How the fuck did I never see this possibility? He'd totally be the character tempted with it too.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I heard that the modern graham cracker is so decadent that Sylvester Graham would be scandalized.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Still more useful than the Christian churches advice. Having natural sexual urges? Have you tried just not? Or a lifetime of guilt?

I’d take Graham crackers any day.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Tell that one to limp bizket

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Some of y'all need to eat a whole sleeve of them. Y'all nasty.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Catholics and politicians are gonna need a lot of graham crackers

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Don’t forget the priests

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Oh wow, that worked. I got a bonus glazed cracker out of the whole deal too. Win-Win.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Ah fuck. Now i do too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It was the first thing to pop into my head. Most of my cultural references are from the 90s, it seems.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Not one of their best.