this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's the measurement that you use when you need to account for shrinkage.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The house only has like 1/3 of its square footage during the winter months.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What happens to houses with pools?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

It gets complicated. That's why pools are so expensive.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Finding the reference dick is the real problem.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eh it was probably the same king with a abnormally large foot but who knows maybe his feet are compensating for something

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You know what they say about guys with large feet...

.

.

.

.

They must be compensating for something.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It's not so much the presence of large feet but rather the need to have everyone measure stuff with those said feet

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Banana for scale?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

And she still wasn't done...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Came here for the Clerk's reference

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What measurement did they use for one? The average or "the average"?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They measured from the stump

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Make sure to get to the roots!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Well...a foot is a measurement so it makes sense to use other body parts, right?

Length is two feet, three dicks and a pussy. Anyone could measure that way and it would be a world standard.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It always irks me when people think using foot as measurement was invented in England when they were used all over the world since the beginning of time. And different countries had different sized standard feet

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Old Slavic customary measurements had "foot", but also "palm" and "elbow" (roughly forearm length), as well as some less obvious body part based measurements

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elle_(Einheit)

The Elle / Yard / Forearm is one of the oldest and most common ways of measurement

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Problem is if a man drafted something dimensioned in dicks then handed it off to a woman to build it, you'd end up with a Spinal Tap Stonehenge situation.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Why are the women not using their OSHA approved strap-ons to measure?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Awful system, they're always giving me much less than I expect.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Hey, it was just cold in the warehouse.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

If the foot measurement is supposedly based on King Henry I, who's dick is this? 👀

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I just replace miles with dicks because mines the same size

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That sounds... Inconvenient.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not really, I always have a measuring stick on me!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

A measuring dick*

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My condolences for your too long schlong.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

More like 121 amirite?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is this a personalised measurement? Like do you have to slap your dick on the table and then go "300 dicks of wood please"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

You have to if you don't want to get shortchanged.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

So I'm guessing its 240000 dicks to build a house?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I had this shower thought lately, that imperial measurements is how the USA still is partly colonized by the British empire. It's in the name.

The British themselves are slowly phasing it out, but the Americans still sick to their guns.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

USA uses US customary units

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

We were going to switch to metric, but our 1kg weight got stolen by pirates.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

the Americans still stick to their guns.

As we like to do, partner.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I read that in the voice of the engineer in tf2

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

It was the style at the time

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If you want to really make a European's head explode, ask them how big a 2x4 is

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Is it not 2"X4"? Am I naïve?

[–] joby 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's not. It's 1.5" x 3.5". I don't know the history and wasn't able to find it in a quick search, but lumber sizes are usually a half inch less than the name would imply.

That only applies to the thickness and width, though. The length of a board should be as described (e.g. a "two by four by eight" would be eight feet long, but have a cross section of 1.5 by 3.5 inches)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's funny that you used 2x4-8 as your example for length, because a 2x4-8 stud is not actually 8 foot. If you're looking for 8 foot 2x4, you need to be careful that you are buying true 8 foot boards, and not 8 foot studs.

That being said, that's the only board I'm familiar with that has a length that's not always true length

[–] joby 2 points 1 year ago

Oh, that is funny. Are the studs 7'9" so a board below and above them are 8' total?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

It is when it's first cut. But then it gets dried and planed down.

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=WaJFudED5FQ

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Nominal sizing is not uniquely American any more (if it ever was? Idk honestly). Work with lots of Europeans who are used to it as much as we are.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

As a legal requirement we don't specify materials in anything other than mm, cm and m. In the UK the imperial measurements are sometimes also shown in a store, to help old people know what they are buying, but I've never seen that anywhere in continental Europe. Architecture isn't drawn using imperial measurements, this system is used ad hoc by UK builders only. I like to torment these luddites by specifying in mm but mostly I avoid interacting with them because I don't want to have a Mars Climate Orbiter situation at my house.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you're measuring something in dicks and you're in Europe, multiply by 0.75 to convert

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