Search first and see if you find one that you like. I found a New Jersey one and was the first to post. Apparently it's on a "free speech" instance which some of its members were quick to point out to me, so I won't be going back lol. Hopefully, someone will start a better one. I don't belong to an instance that allows community creation and I don't really want to mod one either, so it probably won't be me.
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I think a lot of the major topics have already been covered, but without knowing exactly what you're looking for, it's kind of hard to comment. If, as you've said, the communities you're looking at are dead, then maybe start posting in them and see what happens. If nothing happens, then possibly the right people just aren't interested right now, although I'm sure people will come along eventually. I would say it's fair to say a large majority of people aren't aware of Lemmy or don't know how to use it, so it'll take some time.
What are your values, and are you interested in the work of building and running a community? If you did what would you want from your community?
Build it or not, you now know what you are looking for.
Im interested in building a group or a community but im not sure if i should start one or not becasue i lack motivation and i have depression...
something like this is not a bad way to try and deal with depression esp if you feel you are in a phase where you want to socialize with people more
would suggest starting a community on an existing instance rather than starting your own so you dont have to deal with the stress of a server op role too.
I've been in the same boat, wondering if it will just be more stress.
yeah ive been thinking of starting an nsfw gaming community or something, but idk if that a good idea or not and it might be hard to do and im still thinking it over.