this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago (18 children)

Why are parents so desperate to track their kids? Don't they trust them?

We had a problem with our oldest not coming home on time. So we asked them, and they didn't have a way to keep track of time. So we got them a cheap Casio and the problem is solved. They love the watch, and independence, and trust.

When we give our kids a phone, it won't have any restrictions, because it means we trust them. We don't, so we're holding off. I'm unwilling to spy on them, so they'll get a phone when I trust them without filters.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Kids need trust. They don't mature without room to fuck up or succeed

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Exactly! And they will screw up, so it's important to let them fail frequently while the stakes are low instead of putting it off until the stakes are high.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

True. It ends up building resentment and delaying maturity

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

I'm already teaching mine to hide his tracks better, to only steal from companies if you have to and can get away with it, not neighbors or your avg person who worked hard for their stuff.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

You seem like a great parent! I'm personally leaning towards giving them dumb phones once they have to take public transport to school, for the convenience of them being able to inform me when they miss the bus or want to have lunch at a friend's. But who knows if or when I'll even have kids, lol. Maybe things will change in that time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I used to miss the bus all the time before having a phone. But it didn't matter; I wasn't going to be late for anything, I just had to figure out another way home, usually walking which took about 45 to an hour.

If I wanted to go to a friend's house, I'd usually just go to their house and then call using their phone.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As someone who's 23 and grew up with smartphones and all of that as they were starting to become popular I feel like I have some takes on a lot of the opinions I've seen on the different sides of issues like this. I lean in general towards giving your kid a phone once they're old enough to want to be able to talk with friends and do things on their own afterschool but having some non-intrusive ways to keep an eye on what they're doing with it until sometime when they're a teenager. That just seems like the best way to not ostracize them from other kids while still making sure they're being safe online. Even though in general things worked out fine for me with my parents letting me have my own laptop and iPod touch and eventually iPhone from a pretty young age without really watching what I did on them I definitely see a lot of times that I could have ended up being taken advantage of online if things had been slightly different. And the reason I say non-intrusive ways to keep track of what your kid is doing is because I knew kids who did have like parental restrictions on their phones and all of them knew ways to bypass them and do what they wanted to do anyways. So the only way you're gonna successfully keep an eye on them is if they don't know you are and you only interfere if it's a genuine safety problem, and even then you make sure to not punish them for it as that will make them start hiding things from you actively, you treat it as a learning moment and help them understand why what they were doing wasn't safe. I'm still very much figuring out what my exact views on this are but I think leaning too far in either direction of not letting them have social media or a smartphone at all even when they're starting to reach middle school or letting them have unrestricted access to social media and a phone both have their problems and you have to find a good balance in the middle.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I think there's evidence that the ostracism from not being with peers (on phones, etc,) is worse than whatever benefit is gained by waiting until later.

I feel like it can't be harmful for a parent to limit how much time they can spend on a phone though, but maybe I'm out of touch.

Parents should be involved in their kids lives enough to look at some things together with them on the phone but IDK how much people have time for that...

[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 days ago (43 children)

This has been so good for me and my kid. If they are out and feel like they need adult help, we are a watch tap away. If they want to come home early from a friend's house, send me a code and I'm there. If they want to go to their friend's house after school, I'm a text away.

We have a no phone until you're 13 rule so while the watch is a stripped down phone, it's not a phone so easy for us all to understand, plus it's already stripped down, no hassle no fuss.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Well I certainly understand the pros of this but is training your kid to have a dopamine response everytime a notification comes in and buzzes their arm is dangerous, no? It’s like training the kid to always want that feeling for the rest of their life

[–] [email protected] 80 points 4 days ago (17 children)

Gotta make sure they have an ~~ankle monitor~~ smart watch!

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (8 children)

I stopped smoking cigarettes. I’ve moved on to cigars.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Parents turn to smart watches? Not in my household! Not one more fucking non Linux piece of shit spying screen more.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago (2 children)

A modern day equivalent of "we don't own a tv"

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