No Stupid Questions

I hope you find your way to a civilized country.

Yes. Check nonprofits.

IDK if this would be viable with an H1 visa and I've seen many other options I'll be looking into, but here's what I normally tell people in this position: small businesses are built different

They're harder to find, they usually don't pay amazingly, but they're way more human. It's not all run through spread sheets, you work for humans who get to know you and (can sometimes) actually be like a family...(If they say that phrase it's a red flag though)

It's hit or miss, you likely would be working on legacy stuff or have to wear many hats... But it's work where you know what you're doing and who you're doing it for

If I ask my manager or my director a question or challenge their thought process I get called into a 1 on 1 meeting where I'm told I'm a great asset to the team but me asking questions of them in a team setting sets a bad example

This isn't on you. If you manager's skin is so thin that they can't take some critical thinking thrown at them, then they shouldn't be a manager. Though if you're doing it all the time it's probably very annoying. If they're doing some self-destructive braindead company decisions, then just roll your eyes and don't say anything while waiting for their comeuppance to bite them in the ass. You don't have to kiss the ring but you don't have to be a nuisance either.

So I guess my question if any is are there still companies that exist in the USA or outside that still give a fuck about what they're doing and not just inflate that companies value so it can be sold or keep the stock price going up.

Maybe a small business with decent core values. They are very rare though, and are liable to be eaten alive by a change in management. So basically no.

I recognize that this is a very different angle but there is a global trend for free open source software which are non profit by design.

Of course this basically means you need to be a developer and than there is still the question about how to survive within economic society.

I doubt you want to live from donations coming from where you are now.

The sweet spot, which might be viable for you is an open source devision within a for profit company. Many industries have started to understand the massive value of open source software and standards. Companies like redhat build open source tools on one side but then sell industry tailored packages and support to enterprises for profit. Even Nvidia has started to open source some level of their drivers because they realized that enthusiast will often improve on those for zero costs.

I imagine in some of those divisions its just like a normal company with not just devs but all kinda of roles your direct product will be used by the for profit stuff but also be free for everyone else out there that might need it.

I’ve worked for a small business in tech for 15 years- it’s a great company that cares for its people. I think some of what you’re describing is just the nature of larger companies. The bigger the machine, the smaller the cog.

One answer to capitalist companies seeking to maximize profit at all costs are worker owned companies. When the workers are in control of the business decisions, they won’t vote for the decisions going against themselves.

Sadly, I don’t know that many worked owned tech companies. One example is https://www.igalia.com/

If more people would be willing to start work owned companies rather than your typical capitalist startup, we could have more options.

I have a couple decades experience as a software engineer and manager. I don’t know if you’re ready to hear my answer, but here it is:

You might be in a bad situation, it’s hard to say with a single data point. There are bad bosses out there and it can be a nightmare, even at a good company. The “easy” fix is to try working on a different team or a different company and see if that solves the issue. Easy is in quotes because, as an immigrant, it may be tough to move to another employer.

The harder answer is to look inside yourself.

Your title asks about non-capitalistic companies. There are non-profits, but I don’t think capitalism is your problem here. You’re still going to run into problems at non-profits or even volunteering in open source if you aren’t able to integrate well with teams.

There are always going to be cultural expectations no matter where you go. The situation you described about having a 1:1 over asking questions suggests you either have an overly sensitive manager or your manager is right and you are not effective with your feedback. Asking questions can open up conversations or be used to bully people you disagree with.

The way you disagree matters. It’s not enough to be right, you need to persuade other people to be right too. As a manager, I’m focused on the team’s output and if one person is causing problems with the group dynamic, I’m going to address it.

I’m hiring right now and have passed on candidates who fall into the “brilliant jerk” stereotype. There’s research that shows that those types drag the rest of the team down. Remember, I’m focused on the entire team, so any one person needs to fit into that context.

If you find that your interpersonal skills need a boost, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” has good advice but it’s hard for some people to accept advice like “let other people be wrong when it doesn’t matter” and “compliment people.”

The other thing I’m reading in your post is that you may be burned out. The classic solutions for that are therapy, rest, exercise, and investing in life outside work. It’s hard to spot burnout sometimes, but check in with your support group.

So that’s 3 options forward: change your situation, improve your skills, or rest up and recover from burnout. Good luck.

but being pulled aside and being asked to kiss the ring felt disgusting.

You are absolutely right here. It is a very shitty boss. They can happen everywhere, but still not all are like that one.

I am an expert in my field, too, and I would have my way of withstanding such a guy. Not sure, however, if it is possible in Usa. I am in Germany.

are there still companies that exist in the USA or outside that still give a fuck about what they're doing and not just inflate that companies value

There are. At least here. The work culture is much better in general (but very different between companies), because such single specimen of asshole bosses are not that powerful here. Firing somebody is a regulated process, and things can be reviewed later by independent people, in the company or in court.

As long as companies are not that huge, they usually care better about what they are doing.

There are non profits, that is about it for this capitalistic hell scape. You do not need to volunteer at them, plenty have actual jobs. They can't pay market rate, but more of a non profit rate, but it's not bad