I'm an immigrant working in the USA, I came here because of the promise of a better tomorrow, a meritocracy, a seat at the table at big tech, and for a while it felt real but then my company was acquired by a larger entity and it all went to shit, now I'm in a race to show I'm the most competent and dedicated person with the most technological knowledge to keep my job and not get layed off.
If I ask my manager or my director a question or challenge their thought process I get called into a 1 on 1 meeting where I'm told I'm a great asset to the team but me asking questions of them in a team setting sets a bad example, and my questions aren't in bad faith infact in the meeting I was lauded for asking the right questions, but being pulled aside and being asked to kiss the ring felt disgusting.
At one point in my career I cared about what I did and who I worked for I felt pride over my product and my team, and all I feel now is shame to be associated with my company, I feel disgusted with myself that I work not for my customers but for shareholder value.
So I guess my question if any is are there still companies that exist in the USA or outside that still give a fuck about what they're doing and not just inflate that companies value so it can be sold or keep the stock price going up.
I would love to live and work somewhere where my value isn't determined by how much money I van make or how much shareholder value I increase, I wouldn't have to worry about a visa and if I can/will be kicked out if I'm no longer employed.
I could go back home but the work culture there is atrocious it was the reason why I had left, I lasted 5 months and I couldn't take it and put in my 2 weeks to go to the US for a Masters degree in Computer Sciences.
I'm sorry that this turned into more of a rant than anything else but I'm at a point where I don't really know what I want to do anymore, any advice or conversation is appreciated.
Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate you taking the time and your analysis, I'm not sure if its relavant but by th3 end of the 1 on 1 the director apologized to me when they realized that what i had asked actually furthered the conversation and that they were hurt that I would make that statement at the time and in that group as they felt I was just digging up old corpses, when they were explained my thought process and what I meant and what I asked and that the point of that statement was to ensure we dont fall into the same pitfalls again, I was calm and kind in the meeting. I do agree I think i have been burned out for a bit and this whole situation felt bad, and I do agree that this is an industry/employement thing that I can't really escape from.
And the other thing is I dont want to have to influence people to do my job, I dont want to have to walk on eggshells if i need to get someyhig done I'm an engineer my job is to give you the logic and the solution, they are th3 managers/directors and they need to facilitate my job, not tell me that me asking about our environment strategy and avoiding teams in silos is something they should feel offended by.
I agree with the OP's response. It was well written and gave you several options. In particular, the point about cultural expectations sounds like the most pertinent. I don't know what your working relationship is with your director, but the fact that they first apologized and second, when they understood your motives, lauded you.
It does suck having your good faith questions misinterpreted. However, it's unclear what your director did or said that made you feel you were kissing his ring. Did he scold you? Or just explain how he felt about your question?
Others have given resources about coops and flat heirarchies, but this sounds like you want a very specific corporate culture. Even in the right fit, you are influencing people and will have to work with their personalities. Politics will always be part of the game as long as there are limited resources and risks in allocating those resources.
Thank you for your response sadly I can't explain better without divulging internal information and politics, while I agree with you that influence and politics would be an issue everywhere as a manager or a director there are ways to shield your employees from higher ups which doesn't happen here, we are thrown under the bus until I have to step in and explain what happened, why it happened and defend my coworkers, I have had better managers and directors and this was more of a poor manager/director in my opinion. My manager, director, all the up to the VP are from India and they are bringing the same culture from India the one I came here to get away from. It's disheartening to hear "get with the program" from y'all, dont get me wrong but there are jobs where people don't have to deal with this, my previous manager before the acquisition and him being layed off cared enough that this kind of non sense wouldn't even reach me, especially stuff like this from a director, and y'all telling me "suck it up" doesn't feel too good.