That poor fool.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I keep wondering if the incoming tech oligarchy administration will boost stock prices (because that's how they compound the billions) and that will be enough to keep us in this rut longer than we would be otherwise.
The US stock market always performs well during Democratic presidents terms and does not do well during republicans
Don't worry, the 401(k) will be rug pulled as well even if the future exists.
Lol .... I'm indigenous Canadian and I thought the headline said 'Native Man'
Me too! I mean the reading the headline part, I'm not indigenous Canadian haha
RDRR.
But seriously, invest for retirement. It's all on you.
I'm "investing" by learning self sustainability.
I wanted to be more proactive, but school systems don't like hearing about kids who worry about climate change.
Money helps a lot with resiliency. Like a lot.
That assumes the banks survive. Cash would probably still be useful, but that assumes Trump wont go full Nazi Germany and just print more money eventually to the point of hyperinflation.
if banks fail you might as well eat a bullet you aint sustaining shit
if you’re trying to prepare for nazi america, then invest in beans rice smokes and bullets, then you’ll at least have that bullet
Cash won't hold its value. Investments, on balance, will. Retirement right before the start of World War I would suck. It would suck more to have no broad based investments.
This is why one of my "divestments" is non-cash valuable currency, items such as weapons / tool stockpiles, and training / knowledge. Seriously on that last one is so important if you have a day off learn how to use basic hand and power tools. Learn to cook something. Learn how basic gardening works. Take a CPR and Stop the bleed course, how to do basic electrical work, etc. You don't have to be professional at them but learn how to do them.
Best case scenario, you can be cheaper and look sexy knowing how to cook clean and repair. Worst case scenario, those are going to be worth more than Benjamins in a true SHTF scenario.
I’m always amused at the people that think they can make it through a collapse
first good infection you’re dead
You need to invest money. My recommendation is get a job and start investing.
Wouldn't investing at this point basically means betting for even larger tesla & nvidia? Since these companies comprises huge part of nasdaq.
That's what I would call a bubble. The same has been said for FAANG stocks because they are success stories, and I do think that TSLA and NVDA are large enough with enough assets that they aren't going belly under overnight.
That said, there were stock advisers, people with degrees and decades of work in early 2001 saying "Buy Enron!" Same goes for dot com stocks, same goes for cypto bros. I've made some pocket change off those two companies "mooning" their share values so I am definitely not complaining, but don't rely solely on those two to go "line go up" forever. When they did my decision was not to buy more, my decision was to very smartly sell off a small portion to "make my money back" per se, and now the rest is house money basically :)
What an idiot.