this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

This is true for every psychological condition and has only tangentially to do with grades. There needs to be a burden of suffering (German: "Leidensdruck") in order for a psychological condition to be considered a "problem" that needs "fixing". As long as the the person doesn't have this and society doesn't force anything on that person (because for example they broke the law), there is nothing to act upon. This is also why some famous and/or successful people are crazy. The FBI has done some investigations into the concept of a the corporate psychopath, which can be successful managers, which are undiagnosed psychopaths.

PS: I am no expert

https://leb.fbi.gov/articles/featured-articles/the-corporate-psychopath

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (3 children)

My therapist diagnosed me with ADD, I did a lot of research and talked to a lot of people. Turned out I don’t have that, but have childhood trauma. Trauma and ADD have a lot of similar symptoms. Once I started addressing the trauma, my symptoms went away.

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[–] [email protected] 244 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Same with autism.

If you get low grades, off to special ed with you.

High grades? Oh you're just a socially awkward dork or quirky nerd or something.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 4 days ago

It's like the Halo effect, but with grades.

[–] [email protected] 96 points 3 days ago (20 children)

Same with autism. It wasn't until I had my master's degree in math and teaching high school at age 39 that it ever occurred to me that I was autistic. A colleague and I had a mutual student, and he told me that he thought she might be autistic and that he was going to refer her to the school's diagnostician for testing.

So I found myself curious about the symptoms of autism, because Rain Man was my frame of reference. I researched the symptoms in the middle of a Geometry team meeting, and everything I read had my sitting up further and further in my seat, until I just blurted out "Oh my GAWD...?!" My colleagues asked what, and I said "Y'all...I think I might be autistic?" They looked at one another quizzically, like they were shocked at my personal revelation. One of them replied, "Wait...you didn't know?!" I said, "....what, you DID know?!?" She was like "Yes! We all know that about you! You seriously didn't know? 😂" HELL NO I DIDN'T KNOW!

I immediately called my mom on the phone to tell her that I thought I might be autistic. "Yyyyyeah...your dad and I always thought you might be." HOLY FUCKING SHIT MOM WTF?????? 😲😲😲WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER GET ME TESTED?!? "Well, you always made such good grades that we just didn't think it mattered that much.

I have since been diagnosed with ASD Level 1, and I think back a lot on my life lived. I marvel at how much easier my life would have been if I hadn't had to develop all of these coping mechanisms myself. I did well in school despite my autism. I earned two degrees despite my autism. I hold down teaching jobs despite my autism. The biggest problems I've had in my life, though, have been personal relationships. I can't imagine how much richer my life might be right now had I known all along how to exist as a self-aware autist in a neurotypical world.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A friend of mine got diagnosed first with add and then autism in her 60s. She felt relieved because she finally understood herself.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

My diagnosis was based on a number of tests. One such test was related to speeded processing, basically how quickly a person's brain analyzes things and makes decisions. It required me to look at a series of pages (one at a time) featuring a particular design for about six seconds or so, and to then identify on the flowing page the same design from a group of four, five, or six similar designs (there were more to choose from as the test went on). If I got one wrong, I'd have a second chance to choose the correct image. Two wrong answers in a row and the test would be over.

I was told at the beginning to not feel bad if I didn't finish the test because no one ever does. Well, I did, and very quickly. I made one mistake on one picture, but I'd had it narrowed down to two images, so I was able to quickly recover when I made that one mistake. After a while, after every correct answer, the doctor's eyes became wider and wider, until I finished and she just said, "Welp...that was THAT test!"

When I got my test results, it had me well into the 99.9th percentile. Upon informing me of this, she asked me "Does this surprise you?" to which I replied no, not really. I've always felt like I think WAY more quickly than the rest of the world. And it is both a boon and a burden. It serves me well and will continue to do so in the post-apocalyptic times to come.

But it's also caused me to queer relationships because I don't think about things before speaking sometimes, and - as an autistic person - connections with others are sometimes few and far between. So having confirmation now that my brain really does work this way helps me feel empowered enough to work on myself and that tendency to think/act/speak too quickly, because the relationships I have with people are immensely important to me.

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dude, so fucking real. I just got denied meds because "If you can learn a big part in a play, then you must have very mild adhd."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I'm convinced that most psychiatrists and psychologists have control issues that they satisfy through their practice. It makes them feel powerful to be able to gatekeep, judge and implicitly control their patient's life and get paid for it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

I wish I could talk to someone who actually knows what adhd is like, and not just some boomer with a fancy piece of paper

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[–] [email protected] 154 points 4 days ago (5 children)

As long as you're not disruptive, they don't give a shit.

[–] [email protected] 92 points 4 days ago

If you're malleable enough, the machine will mash you into place.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Truth. I remember being in school in the 90s when they were giving Ritalin to everyone who didn't want to sit still in class. Shit was wild. And then you have me, with a healthy case of ADD but since I wasn't a social butterfly, that just meant I wasn't motivated.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Oh man, one of my people! My parents, my school, my teachers just watched me fail with an under 1.0 average, while I scored 95th percentile in every standardized test. I was lazy, undisciplined, and unmotivated, and it made me hate myself.

I feel like this would be a red flag now, but back then, even the school counselors were only worried about my impact on other students. Since it was minimal, they let me just stay there and fail... my best friend, who's every bit at sharp as me, got Ritalined into fucking oblivion and put in remedial classes. Jokes on me tho, he got a diploma from HS.

GED is just another standardized test. If I knew how easy it was back in my junior year, I would have saved myself a lot of time and trouble.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I suspected i had adhd when i was 16, begged my mom to go to a psychologist. The psychologist told me i was playing too many video games ಠ_ಠ

[–] hex 9 points 3 days ago

When the video games were a symptom of the ADHD. Lol

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (8 children)

As a parent of a child with ADHD, I'm cautious about using stimulant medication unless it's clearly the best course of action. My main goal is to help my child succeed, and academics is a big component of that.

I see many of my son's ADHD symptoms in myself, and I believe I may have also had/have ADHD. Despite this, I've been successful in my life. This personal experience makes me hesitant to automatically turn to medication as the solution for my child. I prefer to explore other options first, unless there's a strong reason to consider it, such as struggling academically.

When my son entered high school he became mature enough to participate in the decision-making process regarding his own treatment. Because of that it was easier for me/us to get him a prescription of Adderall and feel good about it as parents.

Edit: since it seems to not be clear, my son is on ADHD meds and has been for the past three or four years. We talked to him about it and he prefers taking the medication and has had input in the dosage that he's taking.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Unsolicited advice incoming:

Help your kid get a diagnosis ASAP and try to find a medication that works. The drugs are just a tool, but your kid won't know whether they help without trying them.

At some point, they may find themselves unmedicated and down in an ADHD hole — having the diagnosis and knowing which medications may help is crucial to dig out of the hole.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Sorry, if it wasn't clear, he has a diagnosis of adhd and he's on meds.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 days ago (3 children)

It's weird how many people on here attribute good grades to being good at everything else in life. Or minimizing the probable and unnecessary struggle some individuals go through to get those good grades because of the system they were put in. I got good grades because i worked many times harder than my peers. I shouldn't have to. No one does. I was privileged enough to have enough resources to do as well as i did. Most people with my condition don't. I've also struggled a lot more at other tasks, and in the work place. But i got good grades, so fuck me right?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

Yeah. It's so fucking shortsighted to be like, "Eh, you did fine, look at your grades. You can't be that disabled." Like, you putzes, are you kidding me? If I hadn't been spending all my mental energy clearing all these pointless obstacles, I might have cured fucking pancreatic cancer by now. It's not just about what's convenient for caretakers, teachers, and a health team, it's about being denied the opportunity that most other people are handed without asking to achieve everything they're capable of doing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (6 children)

Back in school I literally helped other students cram 30 minutes before a test, using flash cards I made and used all week, only to have them breeze in and get a higher score than me.

Do you know how great it would be to only barely try, and succeed anyway? I can't even imagine.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Goddamn, this innocuous post brought me to tears. Been having a rough time, I guess

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wait till you see what they let you do if you're good at sports.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wait till you see what they let you ~~do~~ raw dog if you're good at sports.

Ftfy

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 4 days ago

Pretty much, my mom didn't notice that I had adhd. But my little brother was a poor student, and ended up on several different medications for his adhd.. meanwhile, my mom made fun of me for having like 5 water glasses scattered throughout the house all the time bcz I forgot I had a water glass, and where it was.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 days ago (9 children)

TBF if any condition isn't causing problems then it doesn't need treatment. Don't get me wrong, ADHD can cause problems beyond just school/work, but often that's one of the most common primary problems it causes

[–] [email protected] 57 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Who says it isn’t causing problems? We had a similar issue with my oldest. He is a brilliant kid who can’t get his shit together because of his disability. However he can skate through school.

It was a constant battle to get him services and accommodations, because he “is not failing”. The school system thinks he doesn’t need treatment because he’s not failing. We think he deserves treatment because he isn’t living up to his abilities and struggles to do basic stuff

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 days ago

Thank you for fighting for your son.

I never really had issues in school, I was doing fine. But teachers kept telling me I wasn't living up to my potential. I was chaotic. Forgetful. Years later, I developed an anxiety disorder I didn't understand so I went to therapy. Turns out I also have chronic depression (oh, life is not so bleak for everyone??) and it's all because of severe ADHD and the attached problems. I'm almost 30 now. And while my therapist did a lot of structured tests, she is not qualified to actually diagnose ADHD. It's gonna be another year until I can get my formal diagnosis and medication.

I often wonder what could have been had the adults in my childhood been more attentive to my -in hindsight- obvious and severe problems.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I mean this is technically right (so the best kind of right) but as someone that got okay grades in school and only passed because I could ace a test on pretty much anything, knowing I had ADHD before I was in my mid 30s, stressing over why work was getting harder and harder and trying to explain to my wife that i genuinely just forget to clean up after a project is done would have been hugely helpful. So diagnosing ADHD in kids and teens getting good grades may end with just therapy as treatment if they are otherwise doing well, knowing that other treatments (like medication) are options if after school they start struggling more. Keep in mind it’s much more difficult to get an ADHD diagnosis as an adult than as a kid.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 days ago (11 children)

I got diagnosed and medicated at 39. A couple of years go by and I’ve improved my shit enough that I get offered a promotion from tools to office.

“Great”, I think, because I’m finally getting my shit together.

Couple more years have passed, and it turns out that even with medication it’s real fucking hard to be self-led management when you’ve got a brane that is not at all interested in working with you.

Unmedicated me got reasonable grades at school, then managed a respectable 2:1 degree. That would have been a first class degree if I’d been medicated. But all of that shit is basically on rails, people guiding you in the right direction. I don’t have those rails anymore.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Absolutely, and inner conflict, constant struggle and unhappiness counts as a huge problem, even when external appearances are kept and things run relatively smoothly. Internal peace should always be the primary goal, and not just fitting into the gears of routine life.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Haha, I raw dogged it until I was 23, horrible grades only

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Raw dogged it until 37 years old. Sucks to start life so late 😂

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I don't have anything and I never will because I'm never getting tested. I did get "classified" and never had a fair chance at a real education. Even failure meant I needed to be in the program and every success showed how well the program was working. I grew up thinking I would only be a drag on other people. In high school, I decided to start feeling better about myself. Something those years of being removed from class so I could have meaningless conversations with the school therapist never could. I thought the school would support my efforts to fix my education, but I only got pushed down, told "I would be happier without the risk of failure", lied to about classes being full, withheld test results when I tried testing into better classes. I would like nothing more then to get the diploma revoked and seeing as how I never fulfilled the basic state requirements, I should be able to, but like with most things, the written law doesn't matter if no one is willing to enforce it.

Fuck my school. Fuck the "team building" exercises they made me do. Fuck the "opportunities" they provided for me.

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