Ask Lemmy

Occasionally (when looking at something I'd rather they didn't know about), the thought that my partner might have installed something that monitors all network traffic and what websites are accessed crosses my mind... But I don't seriously worry about that, because I trust the people I live with, and they wouldn't do things like that.

Maybe your family are less respectful, or think messing with people is funny? But it also might be an expression of social anxiety. It's a pretty typical symptom of anxiety to worry that other people are thinking about us, talking about us, noticing tiny things (when most of the time people don't actually care that much). So worrying about spyware could be a modern version of that?

I wonder if there are some simple tech soloutions you could implement? Even if you simply get a cloud based log of every time your phone is unlocked, you'd be able to spot unauthorised access while you're sleeping. But the real answer is probably working on your sense of security and trust. Do you really have reasons not to trust these people? And if they did find out what you did on your phone, would it really matter? As some of the other commentators have said, if you're secure in yourself, then your online activity becoming public shouldn't worry you.

Can't say that I do.

Yeah, family only saw me as that stupid fucking puzzle piece and not an actual human being so they'd look through everything and assume that stupid puzzle piece was the reason why and share it with ABA therapists, or literal professional child abusers, to make me no longer do the thing. Actual humans can watch youtube poop and meme videos because they're funny, but I only did because that stupid puzzle piece made me. Actual humans can read and write fanfiction, make games, romhack, and have hobbies, but when I did them, the same stupid ass puzzle piece that made me too stupid and unfit for actual human society made me so talented and so smart, and what used to be a hobby becomes some big stupid "talent" that I'm forced to overwork myself on to prove that puzzle pieces are just as bright as people! So inspirational! Ugh. But when I quit all my hobbies, the same puzzle piece that made me do them made me quit.

Unless your spouse or family members happen to be NSA agents or feds of some kind this is baseless paranoia. If you want to be concerned over genuine privacy concerns to feed your fears look into PRISM or nine-eyes, not your own family installing RATS on your system for ... reasons.

Its not impossible there are obviously examples of snooping usually cause of spouses and fear of cheating. In your case though, are the logistics and reasoning there to support the concern?.

The thing about extremely anxious and paranoid people is this: they get so caught up in their what-if nightmare cassarole fantasies that they forget the basic but important questions like "but why? for what reason? Realistically how could they do it without notice, and whats the time investment or monetary cost to keep it up? What are the actual chances if I were to spitball a statistical probability of this event actually playing out, 1/10,000? What useful information could they actually get from this? Am I or my information REALLY that special? Do I think anyone in my personal life really wants to know about my shameful sexual kinks or dirty secrets? Can a person who barely knows how to open a web browser ot read emails really competent enough to comprise my system?" These kinds of reality-check thoughts don't occur to extremely paranoid people while on a fear-spiraling episode.

You felt the need to cover your ass saying you weren't schitzo, so you probably already know these kind of thoughts are indicative of potential serious misfirings in your neural network. Something might not be right in your ape brain. If your fears and paranoia become even worse to the point you think your own family has been replaced by clones or is trying to poison you, please seek help.

Finally, if you truly do have concerns about snooping that come from a place of legitimacy, theres always things you can do to shore up your security. cryptography encryption and physical pass keys for your digital information, black tape over your cameras when not in use, soundproofing foam over microphones if you can't rip them out or physically kill them. Keep your phone in a diy Faraday cage box made layered with aluminum foil. Hell get some bug detectors and sweep the whole place. You aren't helpless. Use your brain and take control of your environment one step at a time.

Thinking otherwise is naïvety. Nothing is truly private and you should never do or say anything you wouldn't want to be known to have done and said.