Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!
How were they enforcing this?
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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And Finally...
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It's just a tack on when they do search warrants.. oh we did not find any drugs but we found 7 dildos.. Off to prison!
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They'll know I'm breaking the law, because I'll be flying my custom gadsen flag with 7 dildoes on it that reads "Come and count them"
That just lets people know you have dildos to steal
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?
There is decidedly not a shortage of dildos in Texas.
Have you seen their politicians?
those are just plain ol' dicks
I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.
Ever bring a dildo to a gun fight?
No, but there was the time someone brought a dildo wielding drone to a campaign event and attacked the Bernallio county Sheriff with a “dongcopter.”
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First, they came for the dildos, and I did nothing.
They came for the dildos….. and BOY did they came!!!
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Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.
The worst part about this is that I'd rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.
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Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she's very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State... it's CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠
#SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)
There are definitely some Texas billionaires that own more than six politicians.
The solution is clearly to set up sex toy libraries.
...They would never interfere with libraries, right?
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I would never have thought to go to walmart to buy a sex toy if I hadn't seen them somewhat prominently displayed on my way towards the vitamin aisle.
Don't most people just buy them online anyway? How the fuck would they even enforce this? The whole thing is a joke.
They're criminalizing things more likely to be owned by people they're trying to cleanse. Maybe cops show up and find you've exceeded your government allotted sex toy limit... would you lose your job? Your kids? Do you even call the cops? Do you hide the dildos in a gun safe and leave the guns out, to make the cops happy?
I find it hilarious that cops are going to start driving around with dildos in their car. You know, in case they need to plant one.
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The new top post in this community. I hope everyone is proud of themselves. I know I am.
I feel honored and touched.
But enough about your personal life...
So its now illegal to have more than 6 bananas in your home in Texas?
Sigh, this is gonna be an awkward call to mom..
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What if it was a dildo-gun?
Don’t want to start WWIII but even I and my fifty buttplugs were surprised to hear that WALMART was selling sex toys.
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For those curious to read the penile penal code see 43.23(f): https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/PE/htm/PE.43.htm#43.23
That's interesting:
(f) A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.
So it's not just 6 obscene devices, you could have two Rampant Rabbits and break the law. I assume a double-ended dildo counts as one obscene device unless they can be disengaged to make two identical ones.
"Obscene devices" is rather a loose term too. The kinky are likely to have quite a few knocking about but for personal use only.
They define them in 43.21(7), albeit, still quite loosely:
(7) "Obscene device" means a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
So maybe a devices like the magic wand is in the clear since it's marketed as a massager. I wonder if a vibrator could simply be repackaged and marketed as a massager, as well.
They often are.
Interestingly, it doesn't include butt plugs - Republicans must love those, also penis cages and cock rings.
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Texas is weird.
Policemen Josh and Wade showing up to a party:
Josh: "Alright Wade, let's make sure there are not more than 6 erections in there."
The lawmakers are afraid of the competition
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