My money is on the elephant!
this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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When they're both Christians, Jesus just picks his favorite. If you lose you know that you're not jesus's favorite. Sorry that's just the way it is. Loser.
Now I want to read a book that starts with the sentance:
"The war in heaven started with a spelling bee."
It’s called the boble
Could you use that in a sentance?
Interesting tidbit, the National spelling bee was created by Doug Cornette. The Father of loud mouth, racket waving, heel wrestling manager Jim Cornette
Which explains why he was such a word Smith and could talk a mile a minute while insulting the crowd
He looks like a thinner version of lives-in-a-van-down-by-the-river guy.
Just as loud
Sorry to all Christians but every Hindu deity wrecks Jesus 1v1. That's just facts.
What about that one who sleeps for like 32 million years? Seems like he would be pretty easy to off.
You'd think, but even with being vulnerable and asleep, all attacks thus far didn't wake it up it, much less kill it. Don't fuck with it.
Now I just want to know what this deity is I should fear.
For his human form, yes, but Holy Trinity-wise, I'm not so sure. Beyond 1v1, archangels tip any scales in JC's favor.
I never thought of it like Voltron.
IDK, the christians build gods like a grade schooler:
My god built the ocean.
Oh yeah well mine built the earth, and the ocean is on the earth.
Hey you can’t do that, besides I have a second god and he made the sun.
I don’t need two gods mine is as powerful as all yours put together and he made the heavens and it has the sun in it.
THAT’S CHEATING! And I have another god, he made the stars!
Oh yeah well mine made everything including all the gods and he can count to infinity!
Oh yeah even the evil gods?
…..yeah but thats not his fault.
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!, Is too!, Is too!
Is not time infinitely!
I adore this comic for some reason
why jesus cakes hanging out
Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe
Dude forgot to gird. Rookie mistake.
Go on.
Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm
Judges 1:19
The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.
So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.
I never actually read much of the thing
I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don't care that it's not native to the region or whatever.
Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.
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If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.
The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.
Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.
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This just made me think about Shin Megami Tensei. I think Messiah (the closest equivalent to Jesus) would probably win 1 on 1, but the whole Hindu pantheon would probably wear him down eventuality.
Edit for non-smt fans: SMT is Pokemon for religious and folk mythology. Lol
Since 2008 Ganesha only lost two times. I guess Jesus is past his prime. And the first loss wasn’t really a loss, since it was 8 first place winners with 7 kids of South Asian descent.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scripps_National_Spelling_Bee_champions
I mean look at him! Jesus doesn't seem like he has much of a shot against that beast of a deity.
Also relevant, two people of the same religion praying for the same thing. The god fights themselves. Or flips a coin, free will remember.
Jim Carrey comes to mind in Bruce Almighty, when he starts to say yes to every prayer and thousands win the lottery.
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Now do it for two Christians.
Jesus beating himself. Rule 34 has got you covered
Is there a rule 34 for rule 34?
I'd buy that Street Fighter DLC pack.
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