this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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title may sound funny to you, but I couldn't come with a better one.

I work in nursing, which is 95% female operated and at my unit they behave like the borg:

due to a sloppy wound job by another nurse I exclaimed 'fuck', which offended a female coworker.

First she told me I'm not allowed to use that word but then started to tell her friends with her phone. The next day I have several female coworkers aggressively confronting me about said word, yelling me not to use it, but they do it while I'm giving report. They don't listen to it, play with their phones and then explode yelling at me.

I yelled back 'let me work' 5 times, but they kept yelling about the word 'fuck'. At that point I simply read my report out loud and left the unit.

Notice that I did give report, so nobody can accuse me of patient abandonment.

It has never happened to me that so many women banded together to mob me, not at a workplace. I always expected people to be rational, to ask the accused part for his side of the story, but these women chose to believe their friend, another woman, and won't even ask me why and under what circumstances I used the expletive.

They act like I told this colleague to fuck off instead of simply exclaiming fuck.

I'll contact the union with my side of the story.

My main question is: how do I react each time a female colleague accuses me of being dangerous and repeats what their friend said, not even asking for my side of the story?

I still don't know how saying, not even yelling 'fuck' due to a poor wound dressing can trigger so many women.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago

Why do I feel like you didn't just say "fuck"?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

There's something seriously off about this story, and I can't help but think you've left out some significant details.

But to answer your question, nothing. You do nothing.

You go to work, avoid people that aren't required for you to do your job, and try not to say things that will get you in trouble.

I personally have no problem with fuck or any other words, but there's a time and a place. If you dropped an F bomb in front of my customer/client/patient, I'd give you a stern warning not to let it happen again.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

When the actions of multiple people on the other side of a story don’t make sense, we’re not getting the whole story.

I’m guessing you cursed out a coworker and not for the first time. Most workplaces will excuse passing profanity more than they will excuse verbal abuse of a coworker.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m guessing you cursed out a coworker and not for the first time.

Not what happened.

there's a difference between cursing the poor work done by a coworker and cursing a person that was there and wasn't responsible for the dressing.

I don't understand why you choose not to see the difference.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

Cause you sound like an unreliable narrator.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Is there a reason you have characterized this incident as a gender issue?

Was the poor work the work of the nurse who heard you and chewed you out? Do you often criticize the work of your coworkers in a nonproductive manner, expletives or no?

Did you say anything else before saying "fuck" to your coworker, or before she chewed you out? Do you think you were on good terms with her before this incident?

Are you listening to the specifics of your coworkers' complaints? What are they asking you to do differently?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 weeks ago

He said "I want to" and added "you" afterwards, that would explain the trouble he is in.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

This sounds like a plausible thing that actually happened.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

i wonder if this is the same person you were worried was more popular than you at work a few months ago.

after reading some of your post history, you seem like a bitter person who will never be happy. that tells me there is so much more going on here than what you have let us believe is going on.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Seems OP is getting roasted here... What's the full story? Tell us what really happened that day and we might come to a conclusion whether "fuck" warrants a mob chasing you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Confront? No.

Serve margaritas to? Yes.