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I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.
So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.
When I'm walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said 'well aren't you the gayest person I've met all day'.
I'm not sure how to feel tbh
Drink from a straw. Wear shorts.
Wearing an earring in your right ear, but it's ok to wear it in the left... Or the other way around. I could never remember which.
I've had a colleague say that tea is "homo water". I'm aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don't know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we've kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.
To anyone who thinks tea isn't for cishet men I have four words:
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
Sucking my best friendβs dick. Iβm sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.
Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for βgirls and gaysβ.
If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you'd better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?
I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny". So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he's "not allowed to have an opinion because he's a man" which is the most double standard bullshit I've ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It's stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny".
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.
According to my dad, considering something as 'lovely'. Even if it's the exhaust note of a motorcycle.
It's a tie between licking ice cream and saying something is adorable.
I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.
Orange? Wait until Dutch football fans hear that. Would make NL during a Euro Cup or World Cup an absolutely β¨Β fabulousΒ β¨place xD
Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man's beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn't matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just π¨βπ³π>
Use chapstick
Read a book in public
Not go to gym
Play certain more "feminine" games
Those off the top of my head. I live in a nation of backwards idiots, so there for sure are more
I was told I'm gay because I like knitting.
I mean, yes I'm gay, but not because of that.
Knitting is a form of computing and computing is women's work. So yeah, super gay, just like all the other programmers. ^/s^
Cry.
Dance. In a troupe full of girls. Honestly, it was me and 15-20 girls.
Other boys literally called me gay for dancing, while they went and played whatever sports they did and then all went into a locker room and showered together etc.
I honestly never understood how they thought dance was gay. I don't understand it now.
In the 1990s in the UK, it was gay to wear a backpack using both shoulder straps (as opposed to using one strap over one shoulder, which was the heterosexual way to carry things to school).
It's funny to me all the times that I've been considered not manly enough, whether it's wearing my hot pink vans or a pink shirt or tie, allowing my gf or now my daughters to paint my nails, and tons of other examples I've been called gay for too. It made me think, what really makes a man. And going by their own definition, isn't it one sign of a man to not be swayed by the opinion of someone who seeks only to denigrate? So why would I care about their opinion?
Sucking dick.
As a kid I was told if you eat scrambled eggs for dinner you are gay. It affected me longer than I care to admit.
Born in the 70s. I've been called gay for nearly everything i ever did in the next decades. Didn't even understand back then why my assumed sexual orientation was something seemingly bad.
I've also called someone gay. He swore he was hetero but wanted to suck me off. Because dicks are so "aesthetically beautiful" while vajayays where just "disgustingly filthy axe-wounds" π He quit the friendship because i thought he was gay and dared to voice it.
That was sad and the best example of what this stupid world does to people who are just slightly off the "normal" path.
He swore he was hetero but wanted to suck me off. Because dicks are so "aesthetically beautiful" while vajayays where just "disgustingly filthy axe-wounds" π
Dude was so deep in the closet he was crowned king in Narnia.
when I finished high school and was talking with friends about going to uni, a few of us were talking a out renting a place together when we got into uni to be close (instead of 2 hours away like we were). another friend we should never do that because people would think we are gay. obligatory he is a Christian fundamentalist who is highly likely gay himself
Playing tennis.
In jr high I had some friends who played football say my other friends and I on the tennis team were gay for playing tennis.
I had to point out to them that the tennis team was co-ed and we regularly made out with our female teammates on the long bus rides to tournaments.
While those on the football team were constantly manhandling each other, showering together and slapping each other on the ass to say "good game." But the tennis team are the gay ones?
They got mad, but dropped it.
Once I was at a hotel bar with colleagues and we were hanging out in some lounge area. The waitress asked if we wanted drinks, so I ordered a margarita.
Then they made fun of me for it. Like, what the hell does it matter what drink I have.
These are all example from decades ago growing up in the 90βs.
I was called gay for not liking soccer, like itβs gay to not watch men chase a ball in shorts.
I was called gay for wearing UGG boots as a dude. Like if we even want to accept gay as an insult, I would argue the person bothered by such things as what shoes one is wearing is more fitting of an insult.
Fun fact. When I had a house mate who was gay, it was very difficult not to use gay as a word for something that wasnβt fun. Like this show is gay. He didnβt mind, but still wanted to stop.
Making quiche for brunch. Apparently an omelet is fine, but a scrambled omelette is gay.
okay, i'm gay, but this is still relevant.
my dad (who i haven't come out to yet) thinks colourful underwear is gay, and those are his remarks to seeing that i've packed both red and blue undies while we were on vacation last year.
like bro they're just colours.
When youβll finally go outta closet heβll be like: told ya, knew that from the start cuz of the gay underwear xD
Hugging friends. Or any sort of physical contact that isn't with a woman.
Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangeloβs David.
Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on
Here's something to ponder. The next time someone accuses you of being gay for [insert lame reason here], ask them how they know that's gay? Are they gay? Funny how some "men" are so obsessed with "gay" stuff. Always remember, and never forget, closets are for clothes.
