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rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago
what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while!" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now
similar energy:
I have this as a sticker on my water bottle
The only ground i will give in this argument is when my headphones tell me the battery is low.
I don't like those either. I like the tones the airpods use. A single beep has no intrinsic meaning. But the tone it uses for low battery is as intuitive as it can get. Also if you don't speak English the voice is just as useless as the tone. Especially if it's something like this.
That said my friend has a headset that announces "mic on" and "mic off" and we get far too much enjoyment out of mocking it saying my cock.
Beep once. Do not speak.
DATA me NEED DATA
The only apps that can give me notifications are my messenging app my phone app and my email app. The rest get notifications blocked on install.
"OK, adding pen and paper to your shopping list."
App developers should learn that the "Maybe later" button makes me delete their app.
Yes or no.
I hate how app send notifications constantly now. It's gotten to the point where I'll just uninstall it if it annoys me.
I've muted 95% of all apps from being able to notify me.
On top of that I'll sometimes put them entirely to sleep when I'm not using them. You get zero background privileges. I don't need you running in the background updating crap, when I only need to use you a few times a year.
Turn on "do not disturb" permanently. That's what I did
Setting my phone to silent semi-permanently was a great decision. The sound of sensation of buzzing has become something I dread. Do not "ping" at me, machine. I will check for messages when I am bored, and no sooner!
I mercilessly block notifications. Especially Uber
I changed my first name in part because of this kind of nonsense. In the old days companies would refer to you as Mr. Surname, these days they're gross and chummy. Stay in your lane, we're not friends, you can use my paperwork name that I have no emotional connection to.
Hey Flamekebab, why aren't you meeting your commitment to practice swahili for 40 minutes a day :(
I'm using more and more "master" as a first name online. That helps a lot.
A most excellent idea, my liege.
I'm taking this idea, thank you!
Free apps aren't made for you.
On the Play store, maybe.
I don't know why you were down oted but it's true. Free apps exist solely to take your data.
I mean if you take a look into f-droid a lot of free apps that are tracking free and perfect to use. So there are apps that are free and good to use.
Sad reality is that most things want to get you hooked and engaged in some way or another. Heck, even websites show you native device notifications now if you allow them, but I guess it's easier for an app to get you to agree to that, even if the app is just a website wrapper...
This came up a few weeks ago. It helps retention, which helps app store ranking.
My tablet for some unknown reason sends me messages about my phone and cable bill being due. Like not an email notification but a separate notification out of nowhere and I can't figure out how to turn it off. I removed my cable app from the tablet thinking it'd do it, but it still happens. Like fuck off, I know I owe you an exorbitant amount of money.
It's the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it
I do review them when they pull that bullshit, I give them 1 star.
Three seconds after you start it for the 1st time