this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
248 points (91.1% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

NGL, that's the gentlest he could've put it. Had he even hinted at the options he and the wife had already greenlit for their coital catalog with zero risk of conception, those two cringe teens would've wept — to say nothing of what's invariably "in discussion" for the couple's future escapades.

Condoms prevent more than minivans.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Because I wouldnt settle for a blowjob.

Because your mum said no to anal.

Because your mum is a stone cold freak.

Because the swingers parties got out of hand.

Because our bull doesnt like condoms.

Because I spent the abortion money on strippers.

Because I was too lazy to have a wank.

And finally.

Apologise and be nice to each other or Ill go dump one in your mother right now and see if I can get you a baby brother.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I prefer "push" vs "dump" for the added omgnoooo 🤣