this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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top 29 comments
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[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (5 children)

3 issues

  1. Not standing
  2. There are 5 of them
  3. Which Jesus?
[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (4 children)

#3 is clear. When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

That was a very unexpected and wild ride through Wikipedia.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

The same holds true for Martin Sheen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKhTFDBj-rw

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

When the president stands, nobody sits

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Later that morning, Puke noticed that Allin still lay motionless in the same place where he had left him and posed for Polaroids with the corpse before calling for an ambulance.

Jesus Christ!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

dir: Andrew Adamson

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Maybe the fifth one is Jesus?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This reminds me of a joke:

Why didn't Jesus play basketball? Because soccer is a much more popular sport in Mexico.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Not only does Jesus play basketball, he's a super dick about it:

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Plot twist: the guy in the middle is jesus.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think that's somewhere in Luke.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Plot twist: That’s not all that’s in Luke.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't know about Luke, but this is in Matthew (15:11)-

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.

So swallow, don't spit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What about what goes into, out of, and back into their mouth in rapid succession?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

He didn't make a judgment there apparently.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

The guy in the middle can't tie his tie correctly. You don't leave it hanging on the side like that. I don't trust guys like that.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They say that they will stand for Jesus, not that they're currently standing for Jesus.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

It's always what they will do tomorrow and never what can be done today, amiright?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I got all the way down on my one knee and nothing short of the second coming is gonna move me from this spot

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Don't think you can swallow the first coming in time?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ok I think I've got it.

Jesus is like Voltron, the 3 dudes in the middle combine to form him.
And the 2 on the ends are the spiritual equivalent of two men each, which is why all the parts of Jesus are hanging out with them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Of shit what if it's like Captain planet, and if they all stand up at the same time it'll summon Jesus?
They're not allowed standing because they don't want to trigger the rapture!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

There is a lot of moustache going on there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Two grinners, three sinners. Nothing odd there at all

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is this a proto-Piper Perri meme?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

They're waiting for Jesus' second coming