this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
202 points (97.2% liked)

A sub for Historymemes

1221 readers
1 users here now

A place for history memes.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Quarterstaff. It's a walking stick but angrier.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I had a D&D character who used a Lucerne Hammer, which I'm seeing is essentially a bec de corbin.

The flail seems fun, I mean who doesn't like moving parts and swingy things? I hear they were useful for reaching around shields. With my luck, I'd probably kill myself trying to use it.

The caveman in me calls out for rock though. It's the ultimate finishing move.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Hard to beat a bec de corbin - that thing will punch straight through even plate armor.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But 6 of the 11 items here are not blunt.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Blunt is a state of mind 🧘‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not that any of you insensitive villeins ASKED, but it's the goedendag for me

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's just a spear with extra heft.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I'll give you such a bonk

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You didn't even give us a chance to ask!

Instead: what's your favorite two handed weapon?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Crossbow, or, if we're restricted to melee, halberds. I love me a good halberd. Such a professional weapon!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Mine is the same for both, maul. Something about a big hammer to both destroy and create, mostly to destroy.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The inner Hussite in me desires a two handed flail to repel the German crusaders attacking my wagon fort.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

You dropped this, hejtman 👑

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Big stick always win. It breaks? Now two stick.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The lions would win if they attacked at night

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Good old rock. Nothing beats rock.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

"Nah, rock flies right through paper!"- Mickey Abbott

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I've always been a fan of the war hammer. You have the crushing end and the stabbing end, so versatile.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You know there's a story in Indian mythology of a dude needing to kill a demon and asks a sage for help. Sage says use my bones dies and gets crafted into a mace that is then used to successfully kill the demon.

There's a separate story of Vishnu killing a demon and fashioning his bones into a mace. So yeah maces.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Metal.

Or, uh, Bone?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Bec de corbin my beloved

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

¿Dónde están mis maquahuitl homies?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

More cutting than blunt? Though I suppose that might put the spiked club into question as well.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

And the flanged mace, and the morning star. There like blunt with benefits.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Some of these really stretch the definition of blunt pretty far. I'd accept "non-bladed" or "impact"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

It depends if you expect to encounter enemy cavalry or not.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

No one is asking you what your favorite medieval weapon is?

You're not playing enough Chivalry II

Heavy Mace son

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

The virgin mace wielder: Oh I can't march more than 20 miles a day, this thing keeps hitting my knee, my steed has a noticable limp to the right because I hit her while dismounting.

The Chad rock wielder: I'm sure there will be rocks when we get there.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I fucking knew a mace wasn't actually spiky, NYT Connections suck my dick, you are wrong, I am right, the connection doesn't exist between those words and l demand satisfaction.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Of all things, I'm reminded of Anchorman

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Where's my lovely Bihänder?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Love me a mace. Go bonk gang. The Ordinator mod for Skyrim made me adore maces. But kingdom come: deliverance made me love them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

The pommel of course, so that you can end your opponent rightly!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I dunno if it's my favorite, but morningstar gets 10/10 in the cool name category

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Shield boss, of course.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

The flail.

Always the flail.