this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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[–] [email protected] 171 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm amazed he managed to roll a nat 20 on a d8, thats cheating on a whole new level

[–] [email protected] 100 points 2 months ago (8 children)

I fuckin hate this notion in modern dnd (which is a misconception in the first place) that its just "let a d20 decide: the game". That's not how the game has ever been played. If you wanna have goofy mad-lib games with your friends where you just roll dice and laugh that's fine but you've never, in 50 years, had to roll to see if you're able to cast Cure Wounds or Heal.

That is a mechanic in some other games where spellcasting isn't a guaranteed thing. But not in core Dungeons and Dragons.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I wish my DM would accept this. I was born with this power but I might fail to cast it? Why am I not rolling to see if I walk properly since that was a learned ability.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why am I not rolling to see if I walk properly since that was a learned ability.

Octodad: Pen&Paper edition?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

QWOP tabletop edition

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

That is a mechanic in some other games where spellcasting isn't a guaranteed thing. But not in core Dungeons and Dragons.

Like in warhammer fantasy, where a guy i've played with managed to cast one spell during a fight that took 30-60 mins irl

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[–] [email protected] 110 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Alright, you cast heal wounds. Any wounds on the legs are healed. You are now aware that paralysis from birth is not a "wound"

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah that's more regenerate or maybe power word heals territory.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Even with regenerate, what exactly are you regenerating? If the necessary neural pathways for the legs to work never developed in the first place, they couldn't be "regenerated". If this was your goal I think you might need to true polymorph a guy into "the same guy but his legs work"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I think it would probably require greater restoration.

Also, regenerate would definitely work you would just have to cut his legs off first.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You couldn't "restore" something to a state it's never been in. Cutting off the legs and then casting regenerate would "regenerate" the lost pair of paralyzed legs.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Greater Restoration ends a "debilitating effect" pretty sure most DMs would allow a 5th level spell to cure paralysis.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Your nerves are forged anew, and your legs are as strong as a marathon runner's. Unfortunately you never learned to walk, much less run. Good luck."

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

Fair enough

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't think logic applies to healing magic in DnD lol.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's explicitly within the capabilities of a Lesser Restoration, but also I would not allow a player to cast that spell on another player if that other player didn't want it

Edit: also as another person said, the adult who has never used their legs before never learned how to walk, so even if they had functioning legs, it would not help

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago (2 children)

ITT- Nerds take a 4chan green text way too seriously.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (22 children)

The problem is that newbies see this shit and think it's normal. One in every 20 rolls is a nat 20. It just means that what you tried went as well as it possibly could have. It doesn't make possible anything that wasn't already

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I think a lot of us get that, we're just enjoying the joke.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Their group should be setting realistic expectations for newcomers then and if they wanna do a throwaway fun session with relaxed rules they can another time.

And if people that don't partake think a session is this wacky wild shit, who cares? They aren't playing.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Bad DM.

Nat 20 doesn't just let you do whatever. Cure wounds could easily be interpreted as returning the body to its natural state as the soul percieves it. If wanted his legs back more than anything so much that his soul held onto it like phantom pain, then I would say maybe a Greater Restoration could if he wanted that.

But if he'd grown accoustomed to his new life and his new legs and no longer sought to "restore" anything, having made peace with his injury, then no, greater restoration would just restore him to his own healthy self image. And a spell like cure wounds would do absolute dick.

I'd love to let this play out, narrate the lack of effect of this spell, and kick this asshole from the table.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So does that not imply that...

HP Restoratives are gender affirming care?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

My read of simple HP restoring magical healing, at least in D&D, is simply that it is equivalent to accelerated natural healing with no potential for complications. So if whatever ailment you're trying to heal wouldn't also be healed by any arbitrary amount of rest and recuperation then Cure Wounds won't cut it either.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's a book I read that takes place in Faerun where a cleric is getting tortured by ogre clerics by having his limbs broken and then they use heal spells to heal his limbs at odd angles. After he's freed, they break his limbs again, heal them in braces, but he had a permanent limp

DnD healing can only do so much before its just some high power reality changing magic.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

narrate the lack of effect of this spell, and kick this asshole from the table.

You had me in the first half. First 95%

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I refused the heal because I heard it causes autism.

Yes, Int is my dump stat, why do you ask?

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

… Ranlar slowly rises from his wheelchair before collapsing under his own weight as his atrophied legs give out. Your party must now find a way to move him away from the orcs without using his newly healed legs, perhaps on a nearby chair with wheels.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I cast heal on Ranlar's legs

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I cast heal on my muscles to make them stronger than they were before, since I guess that's how it works now?

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (3 children)

A 20 does not mean the spell achieves something out of its capabilities, what is this five year olds playing DnD?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (22 children)

Honestly, as a DM, when this doesn’t infringe on other player’s fun like here I don’t mind doing extraordinary stuff for the Nat 20

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (4 children)

nor can you make another player do something they don't want

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I once ran a campaign based on Fred Saberhagen's books of swords. I'm the books there are twelve swords that would be considered greater artifacts. One of my players was playing a pacifist. He picked up the sword called Townsaver while his village was being invaded. Anyone who has read the books knows this same situation happens right at the beginning of the series. The sword takes over, because it's power is to force anyone who holds it to protect unarmed innocents. He proceeded to slaughter the invading force. He was devastated.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is like an episode of House.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

House: "I roll for perception"
Wilson: "You rolled a 1"
House: "It's Lupus"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Player: "I do something to Eric's character against his will."

A good DM: "No, you don't."

End of discussion.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (17 children)

Eric just needed a better backstory for his wheelchair-bound character. And really in most high fantasy settings the only way it makes sense to have a permanent disability like that would be from a curse.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

This thread has helped my understanding why new players I meet to are so intimidated by the game. It seems many people favor strict rule following over just having a good time.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

This is the kind of petty squabbling that makes dnd for me 🤌

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

"The social model of disability states-"

"PELOR SAYS RUN, BITCH, THERE'S A MONSTERS"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Everyone's correctly pointing out how healing doesn't with that way, how about changing someone's body against their will being totally evil and not good?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It would depend on the god. A god of strength or perfection would see anything that makes you stronger as a good thing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I have a character idea for a cleric that idolizes the god of pain.

They focus almost entirely on healing because you can't keep suffering if you're dead, if you're alive you can grow stronger, and therefore, in their own twisted mind, if you're suffering you're growing stronger.

They don't heal people right away unless not doing so would cause them to die and end their suffering. Instead, if the battle is over, they pull out a chart and start asking about how painful the wound is. This can be excruciating for the one who has to sit there and answer questions until they get healed.

The other portion of their build would focus on fighting the undead because they are abominations who cannot feel pain and cannot grow stronger because of it

The god goes along with it because their normal clerics may be into torture, which is great for pain, but they tend to get hunted down because of their extreme methods. This cleric causes pain indirectly by being surrounded by a bunch of murderhobos.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That spell doesn't require a d20. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Going beyond the spell usecase might call for a d20 tho

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