this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 127 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Countless lifetimes have passed since the coming of Thomas. The world thrives, gaily, under the new rule.

But all things have a cost, and we did not see what it would be until it was too late. Now, six heroes must brave the Temple of Thomas, and seal the Hetero away once and for all."

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

The hetero in the twist winding: "I told you I could not be killed so easily, Hero!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Only the Republic of Dave stood against the rule of Thomas.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Fuck Dave. He deserves to be exiled. Second worst part of Fallout 3, just after the absolute copout that is Fawkes saying "But thou must" to going into the chamber.

[–] [email protected] 113 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Thomas is a harem anime protagonist.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The Dungeon Boss Gave Me the Ability to Make Everyone Cute

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Not gonna lie, I’d binge watch that shit

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

shit i thought i'd get babes but i just keep turning people into actual kittens, they're adorable but this is horrifying

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

"That One Time the Dungeon Boss Gave Me the Ability to Turn Everyone Cute but Everyone Was Turning into Kittens so they Wanted to Kill Me and so I became the ~~Demon~~ Kitten Lord"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

As a bi polyam cis man... I'm jealous

[–] [email protected] 98 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Real talk:

Thomas has a natural talent of helping people figure shit out about themselves.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Tbh sometimes that doesn't even need to be a talent, it could just be someone who can be there to accept people and just Be Around as a friend, since that allows someone to experiment and test their perception around others.

You don't need to have therapist-levels of social perception skills to be that, sometimes you can just be Thomas, the person who you can still be friends with, despite everything.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Despite everything, it's still ~~y~~Thomas

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

We all need a Thomas. Or should try to be a Thomas.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Queer people are like Stand Users. We’re drawn to one another

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So clearly Thomas was just a Stand User attracting queer people.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

his stand is the concept of queerness itself, if he dies all queer people instantly become straight and cis and this will cause much suffering

[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What happens when Thomas runs out of cishets to consume?

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He collapses in on himself, becoming denser and denser until even light is not straight in his vicinity.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

At which point he becomes a Republican.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Thomas would never

He simply very secure in his sexuality

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

He's moving to the next planet.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago

Thomas, The All Gayzing Eye

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

Could fucking get it

....oh shit he gave me the gay

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I know a Thomas too! He's the straight cis eye of a queer hurricane. And it wasn't always this way, he just keeps pulling folks into his massive orbit. Folks who later realize they are queer. He never brings it up or even seems to notice.

I finally realized what's going on and it's just a little weird. Like, what the hell is going on? Do my friends even have free will?! Do I?!

I conclude that Thomas has such a pure heart and loves so freely that he innervates people with restless souls. They/we are drawn to this vibe like planets in his solar orbit.

I should write him a poem about this

Thomas' pure heart

Orbit for expanding souls

A queer hurricane

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago

Thomas sounds dope, I aspire to be like Thomas.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

The typhoid mary of queer

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

Sometimes I feel like Thomas. ✊

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

There can be only one.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Isn't that the plot of I am Legend ?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

He doubts that