Asklemmy

You’re practically asking if you should write your work in French or German. Both are valid artistic choices, but one’s probably going to come more naturally to you.

I do have one idea that you might enjoy though - if you write from both of their perspectives, you could have one woman view everything through an idealistic lens, while the other has a much more grounded view? That dynamic might take over what you already had planned a little bit too much but I thought it was a neat concept.

Short answer: Realistic

Long Answer: I think there’s a time and place for both. Idealistic can be very fun and comfortable to fall back on. However, like your typical “Jack Smith, highly-trained and deadly secret government agent” protagonist, there’s way too much idealistic romance in pop culture to the point that I believe it skews how many people expect relationships to work. That’s commonly unhealthy and occasionally dangerous, so I think we need more popular depictions of realistic romance, and by romance I mean all kinds of relationships. ESPECIALLY close, tight-knit non-sexual friendships between men and women.

Ouuuuff... either?

Depends on context?

Depends on writing?

Difficult to really say what my preference is. "Well written", I would say. Believable, but in the context of the fiction, so if the fiction is a magical fairyland, then a believable romance would be utterly idealistic. Etc.

I think romance in fiction is really hard to do well because you somehow have to get across the fact that every romance is different, unique, and often doesn't make too much sense except to the people involved.

A "realistic" romance can be realistic to the author but be filled with very idiotic choices that makes the reader find the romance not realistic at all

Similarly, an "ideal" romance might be written as perfect for the author and certain readers feel it's the least romantic thing in the world.

This looks like a lose-lose but all I'm trying to say is that regardless of what you pick, to me, the most important aspect is getting across that this relationship is entirely between the two characters and difficult to get across to the reader. That's why, to me, romances in stories often work when they aren't the main plot as it lets the reader fill in the gaps of how that romance evolved.

Tough question starting with the fact that realistic relationships vary widely in their scope of wholesomeness and functionality; and stylized or escapist relationships can also vary widely. Just look at how popular stuff like Twilight or 50 shades got for example.

I'm going to side here with people saying it just has to be well written or entertaining enough. It's more about the characters and the story than whether or not they get along very well or if they have struggles.

Not sure, since it's a sliding scale, but high idealism can end up being kind of problematic. See any number of creepy or patriarchal things that romcoms tend to promote. Since it's two women the risk of falling into that is reduced, though.

When I was younger, I enjoyed idealistic stories. Now that I'm older, I find too much idealism to be exasperating. I prefer realism and grit and imperfection.

So based on that, I think your target audience should play a large part in your decision on style.

Another vote for "well-written". I have read both, and both are good if they're done well. Besides, I don't usually have the option when I find a book, the summaries rarely tell me and I'm not gonna dig through the middle of the book for the answer to this question.

What I care about is being able to connect with the characters. If I can connect to someone in a realistic relationship, great. If I can connect to someone and they get that idealist treatment, great. If I can connect to someone and it seems like a romance but it's abusive and the book becomes a realistic horror novel, that's also great, I'll feel the fear and desperation.

I never have wanted to read a book to have a specific experience, is my point. If your experience was well-written, it would be good.

Whatever your goals for the story, shape its components to better present them. What's the love part got to do with the rest of the story? Figure that out and adjust accordingly.

I really enjoyed Joe Abercrombie's portrayal of romance. Each relationship seems thoroughly inconvenient to both parties when it starts and it never actually ends well.

Idealistic in the sense that I like it to be so toxic it's unrealistic. Not to lose all believability, but in a "wow the stars really must have aligned to make these two people meet and fall in love with each other when they're so fucked up together" kind of way. I don't really like reading happy fiction, it's kinda boring.

I want realistic, man.

I want to learn something real useful, because that is life. I don't want to read idealistic romantic novel then delulu myself, thay whould be so fuck up

I like for the situation to be real, described in a way that just clicks with my inner voice. I'm not sure where in your question that notion stands.

I like my realism and my idealism mixed into one integrated whole. In other words, I’m a fan of objectivist fiction.