Literal shitpost.
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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It felt appropriate to stay on theme here.
I would say 45 minutes of scrolling if lemmy.world wasn't constantly under DDOS attacks
So true… 😣 It’s like they think it’s the main server for the entire thing.
I was shocked when I found out how common external/bleeding hemorrhoids can be(Almost 3/4 adults will have them from time to time).
Then it all clicked when I realized people sit on the toilet for 15min+, which is a major contributor to that condition.
When I get hemorrhoids, it’s not from sitting for long periods. It’s due to my need for a poop bat’leth. I take Klingon sized poops.
Uppercase poops
Correct, these are most certainly, POOPS. I have Toto toilets that I bought to ensure I can flush without fear of it’s returning from Sto-vo-kor.
My wife can sit on the toilet for 45 minutes. I don't get it. I want to get on and off that thing as quickly as possible. Why do you want to hover over poo?
Not all of us have a bowel that is cooperative and timely. For some of us it is always a pitched battle of wills, a violent class struggle.
Because it doesn’t all happen at once
Yeah, but 45 minutes? Take a break and come back or something.
I'd say it's more of a revelation to me that sitting on the toilet seat itself for long periods causes hemorrhoids, than hemorrhoids being common in general.
I've been there for an hour a couple of times, I've never had it so I would never notice lol. I guess it's time to avoid it altogether.
i blame lack of bidets
15 minutes? Amateur.
Do your legs ever fall asleep
Nope. Years of experience hiding in the bathroom from my kids.
A squatty potty really helps in the department of prolonged toilet sitting.
You know a courtesy flush will take care of the aroma.
But then how will other Klingons smell what I’m cooking?
Now do your leg that has long fell asleep
A Klingon doesn’t skip leg day’s.
You're supposed to hold it for 3 days, not 15 minutes!
But, that’s how they become pine cone shaped.
Rookie numbers.
Thank you for a legit belly laugh.
Sadly, that's work for me. "You can go to the bathroom, but you have to finish these three orders first." Thanks, brain. Fuck you.
Me rn (or my poop more accurately)
this made me laugh way too much lmao
COURTESY FLUSH
There, said it loud and clear so everyone can hear. Doom scroll all you want but give it a flush first please, no need to stink up the bathroom with your nasty shit stew marinating the whole time. I don't understand why people don't know this.
Thank you for giving it a name, fellow courtesy flusher.
I should leave, damn
Or you could stay, there’s no shame friend.
That reminds me of the early days of R*ddit.