this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
424 points (96.1% liked)

Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
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How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What in Sam hell is that even supposed to be? Like what did it say on the menu?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Cheese is not supposed to look like that...

[–] [email protected] 55 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

That’s a melted Kraft Single. At least they removed the plastic first.

Edit: Yes, they’re wrapped in plastic. Please don’t burn it.

https://news.kraftheinzcompany.com/press-releases-details/2023/Kraft-Heinz-issues-voluntary-recall-of-select-Kraft-Singles-American-Processed-Cheese-Slices/default.aspx

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (7 children)

The outside plastic at least

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

That’s cheez.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's not cheese, that's yellow shrink wrap

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

"imitation pasteurized processed cheese food"

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 months ago

It's like the recipe went through a game of telephone as it passed each state before reaching Iowa. I'd hate to see what Maine looks like

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Yup, I moved to an Iowa town with a lot of hispanic representation and was excited that there was a couple mexican restaurants in my area. The one everyone seems to love isn't THIS bad but its 100% made for white people "mexican" food. Thankfully, the hole the wall a couple blocks away is authentic.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

The hole in the wall places are always the best, I think that’s true for most regional cuisines

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The beans and rice bowls look pretty good, although I'll bet they're not spicy enough.

The cheese things... I can't even figure out what's supposed to be in there.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

This photo reminds me of all the shitty restaurants that put the cheese on top of an omelette instead of inside it. And some of them are even using american slices.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (4 children)

American slices are a food crime in and of themselves already. If it doesn’t even meet the legal definition for being called “cheese”, it has no business going around and pretending.

I’ll make an exception for vegan cheese alternatives if they’re made out of natural ingredients but this shit is literally plastic.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

this shit is literally plastic.

It's cheese with sodium citrate added so it melts easier. It's not literally plastic; this take is false, outdated, juvenile, and completely overblown and hyperbolic.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (7 children)

American cheese is cheese according to some links people posted. It is adequate for grilled cheese sandwiches.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (5 children)

I do sympathize with the hate for Kraft slices, I wouldn’t argue it… but I kind of like them on a burger sometimes. I like the texture and the way it melts.

If I want cheese with a capital C the I’ll go with cheddar or pepper jack or whatever, but if I want gooey cheese product then kraft it is.

Don’t tell me that there isn’t any single trashy food product you enjoy as a guilty pleasure.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This post is curiously short of details as to where such a feast is found in Iowa. I'll give you a hint: there is a lot of good Mexican food in Iowa. It is usually in hole-in-the wall restaurants that don't look like anything, and are owned by Mexican families. My guess is this food is from some sort of "family" restaurant. And the family is not Mexican or South American in ethnicity.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

It's authentically made by a Mexican cook, but that dude fell on his head a lot as a kid.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I want to downvote this, but I won't.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (2 children)

After moving from Chicago I was stunned at the lack of Mexicans around here, and the lack of food. After Hurricane Ivan we got workers to move here and now I can get legit Mexican.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

At first I thought you said TO Chicago and I was like you can't throw a stick without hitting a good mex place in Chi town wtf....ohhhhh

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The hell? You guys are right next to Wisconsin, you should be able to get some real cheese...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is utter filth and an insult to the fine people and cuisines of Mexico. Fuck Iowa.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] aport 19 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Google says that's El Patron in Waterloo Iowa, the menu shows "Pollo Fundido" which says it's covered in American cheese, so 🤷

Some other things on the menu look pretty good tho.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

So OP... got what they ordered?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Can confirm, a restaurant near me serves a Pollo Fundido that looks exactly like this. Honestly it's pretty good but I have trash taste.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

The white people platter

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

When i go to Tennessee, I usually carry Texas Pete or a jalapeno in my purse because all the food tastes like a biscuit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

LMAO! I bought a bottle of Tapatio last time I was in TN so I'd have something.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I had a friend from ND visit and asked me for the patio sauce. The other 3 of us at the table had no idea until he pointed to Tapatio.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Was that guacamole microwaved? Nevermind don't tell me, I don't think I can handle it rn

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Idk man, the place by my house is really good and and serves nothing like this. The tacos are street tacos, served with verde and rojo. We do have a large Hispanic population in this area tho.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Sad Mariachi noises

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

You have to remove the plastic wrapping first before microwaving those "objects".

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