this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

Here are the current tags:

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(BTW, I’m looking for someone to help mod here! I myself would not be enough if this community goes beyond a few posts a day.)

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

This photo reminds me of all the shitty restaurants that put the cheese on top of an omelette instead of inside it. And some of them are even using american slices.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (4 children)

American slices are a food crime in and of themselves already. If it doesn’t even meet the legal definition for being called “cheese”, it has no business going around and pretending.

I’ll make an exception for vegan cheese alternatives if they’re made out of natural ingredients but this shit is literally plastic.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

this shit is literally plastic.

It's cheese with sodium citrate added so it melts easier. It's not literally plastic; this take is false, outdated, juvenile, and completely overblown and hyperbolic.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I accept this as truth, but kraft singles definitely taste like plastic and I will refer to them accordingly.

Also no idea what the hell McDonald's uses but it's offensive on its own.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (4 children)

American cheese is cheese according to some links people posted. It is adequate for grilled cheese sandwiches.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I'd argue it's the best for grilled cheese sandwiches because it stays melted way longer. Other types of cheese I've tried get a weird texture when they cool off. I don't particularly like them anyway due to the macros being garbage and I'm certainly open to suggestions but this has been my experience.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

There is American cheese that is not Kraft singles that do meet the criteria to be considered cheese rather than a cheese product, and it's genuinely really good. Better than singles. Ask for it at a deli.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

There is American cheese that is not Kraft singles that do meet the criteria to be considered cheese rather than a cheese product, and it's genuinely really good. Better than singles. Ask for it at a deli.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (2 children)

No, legally it used to be called “pasteurized processed cheese product”, although apparently they have replaced “processed” with “prepared” nowadays, likely because it sounds slightly less artificial.

Either way, it definitely does not meet the legal standard to simply be called “cheese”.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's called processed because they mix cheese and other dairy products like milk and they can also add whey protein. It's cheese that has additional processing.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Correct. The “additional processing” also includes the addition of sodium citrate to prevent those different milk fats from separating again in order to ensure a homogenous product.

Sodium citrate is not permitted as an ingredient in any other type of cheese except the “pasteurized processed” ones.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

American cheese is cheese. I’m not gonna let the despots at the FDA dictate my perception of reality.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I do sympathize with the hate for Kraft slices, I wouldn’t argue it… but I kind of like them on a burger sometimes. I like the texture and the way it melts.

If I want cheese with a capital C the I’ll go with cheddar or pepper jack or whatever, but if I want gooey cheese product then kraft it is.

Don’t tell me that there isn’t any single trashy food product you enjoy as a guilty pleasure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

They're also great for grilled cheese and I personally use them in my omelettes that I make just about every morning

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

McDonald's burgers aren't the same without the cheese, but tasting just the cheese on its own... It's FOUL. Calling it cheese is offensive. And yet, a hamburger just isn't as good.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I’m not judging you for enjoying Kraft slices, I’m judging Kraft slices for not being cheese.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So they are a food crime, but am in the clear if I consume and enjoy them?

I suppose their existence is the crime and I am just an idiot.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I mean, I'm not a doctor so I can't tell you if they're good for your health in the long run but if you enjoy eating them who am I to say no?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

https://youtu.be/EIU0hwaiAG8?si=lrJsPnuXDJpsgG4J

Check out this video of someone applying heat to a slice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

American cheese is made from real Americans.