this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/2757154

tag thyself

just hanging out in Kḧzk, exporting my precious ores

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

There's a lot of great stuff here, but for some reason the thing that completely broke me is having "Desert Island", a small isle with nothing but sand and a single palm tree, in the middle of lush, green islands.

I'm sure that, if a river was drawn into this map, it would be a ten-headed abomination originating from nothing, going uphill through the mountains, and connecting one side of the ocean to the other.

(Also "Nopon" being an almost 1:1 transposition of Japan, but "Retro Tokyo" is in the wrong place lmao)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

The Desert Island is where all the shipwrecked sailors get washed up. This is the result of all ocean currents in the Tepid and Warm seas eventually converging there. If you miss the exit you go right past into the Giant Whirlpool of Hydrodynamic Implausibly.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Don't Japanese speakers call Japan something closer to Nippon? So it's even closer than that.

Also, as a LOTR weirdo, the thing that made me laugh was how the mountain range around Orienta is exactly the same as the mountains around Mordor right down to the location of the gates, just rotated slightly. And then right to the left there is Land of Evil-Doom, where the mountains SHOULD HAVE BEEN

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

This is actually a lot of work put into a supposedly generic map.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Loth-plagiarien

Lmao! This map is unreasonably funny.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Pseudi Arabia

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

As the son of a deceased blacksmith from Quainthamlet, a small settlement near Townsburg, I have taken my amateur hand-crafted sword and am on the way to Camenot to find my destiny; most likely reaching my limits many times and overcoming them (just) with the help of my trusty companions and the burning hope and power of friendship that lies within me.

Or I'll just die, because my sword is crap and I'm a noob.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

I'm just hanging out in Townburg greeting adventurers.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's a trap! This is just a fantasized map of Brazil! Run for your lives before OP drags us all to Rio!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Then you better have some damn powerful magic otherwise your ice castle will soon become a puddle.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

God this feels EXACTLY like Azeroth from World of Warcraft. But hey the dragons have some isles and eggs so I'm down for that, love me some dragons that are actually doing well in a setting

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

I am but a humble doom miner, mining my doom.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Exporting chainmail bikinis to the underdressed warrior women

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

I live in a humble fishing village overlooking Eisfjörd, in the vast cold reaches of Skändivikingä

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

This looks like Eurasia if you nuked the ever living fuck out of the middle east.

Edit: Honestly this just looks like a post nuclear earth where we just kept dropping more nukes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

That's still way more imaginative than anything I can do.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

There's no way the Ice castle of the necrolord and the mountains of muscle aren't a Fire &Ice reference

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Probably, although Martin was definitely not the first fantasy author to put a villainous faction/entity in the inhospitable frozen north, nor was he the first to have a villain with a zombie army.

Although I think the Mountains of Muscles are more likely just a border feature slapped in between the Necrolord and the ambiguous barbarians of the northern steppes, which are again a common trope but probably directly drawn from the barbarian tribes of Icewind Dale (Wulfgar's people in Forgotten Realms).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I believe op is referring to Bakshi’s Fire and Ice, not martin’s books. The rest of your point still stands though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Or Warcraft.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I'm either a cleric from the Abbey of St Whatever passing through Heroshire in my way to hunt monsters in Vampsylvania, or a spellcasting hermit of dubious sanity living in the Witchy Wood.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Simplified eurasia? Nice idea!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

you cannot convince me that the Lost City of Erm was not a play on Um from the Discworld

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I am but a humble traveling troubadour of Lower Noblesse. Or that is what I would have you believe. In truth, I am an information broker and spy for Steel Anne, the infamous forest bandit, and her band of Jolly Fellows from the Robbin Woods.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Oh, this is lovely!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I’m either one of the dragons or a resident of Wizarddidit

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Hold up in my room at the pub in Boozy Bay sweating out the Elvish drugs and Orc rum, living my own Heart of Darkness.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

That's not fair. My wood elves are Reavers, my high elves are Nazis, and my drow are Morlocks.