this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2024
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Futurology

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Boy, I’ll be running a nuclear power plant in my eyes. Finally, a depression win

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

If only I hadn't opted for the apathy and ennui depression I would have these. I guess I'll just stick to glasses.

[–] CameronDev 23 points 5 months ago (3 children)

We can make unlimited green power by putting these in orphans eyes and poking them with sharp sticks. Who want to invest?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And we can market it as a more humane alternative to the orphan crushing machine. Pure genius.

[–] CameronDev 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The orphans are still getting crushed afterwards, this just allows their lives to have meaning

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

That goes without saying.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that just a summary of the military and their mission to secure oil?

[–] CameronDev 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The is green 🌈. So no ethical issues

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Just make sure to use rainbow coloured sticks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

"You mean all this is powered by a forsaken child?!"

"I didn't use the whole thing!"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Thus, Evil Villains everywhere rejoiced in this new found technology.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

It's finally time to introduce my CathartoMAX video player that only shows Coco, Moonlight, the beginning of Up, the Leaves From A Vine scene from ATLA, and other things that will make the user cry.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If they can find a way to offload the excess energy to my house, I’ll never pay for electricity again!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

But then what will make you cry?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Now the bro-dozer crowd can drive a truck that is literally powered by the tears of "liberals" and reduce emissions at the same time. It's a win-win.

[–] wischi 4 points 5 months ago

And we'll never hear of that one again.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

It's a "Monster Inc" reboot ?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

This headline is a roller coaster.

"In what possible application is that concept not a horrifying 'torment nexus' level of oh okay that makes sense."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

in the future: you'll see people crying in public and you'll assume that they're just recharging their batteries. lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

How much power does it provide? This doesn't sound like a high-energy reaction.

Second question, if it's actually enough to be useful, which I doubt: How long does it last?

This reads like a nothingburger right now. Science journalists have a way of taking academically-interesting projects and omitting all the catches so they seem commercially relevant.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Watching a football game from the worst seat: "Make me cry, make me cry!"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

i'll be able to charge my phone while rotmaxxing and doomscrolling. nice

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

"I was just trying to help you charge your contacts!"