this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024

-59 points (12.7% liked)

Showerthoughts

30032 readers

522 users here now

A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. A showerthought should offer a unique perspective on an ordinary part of life.

Rules

All posts must be showerthoughts
The entire showerthought must be in the title
Avoid politics
- 3.1) NEW RULE as of 5 Nov 2024, trying it out
- 3.2) Political posts often end up being circle jerks (not offering unique perspective) or enflaming (too much work for mods).
- 3.3) Try c/politicaldiscussion, volunteer as a mod here, or start your own community.
Posts must be original/unique
Adhere to Lemmy's Code of Conduct

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

-59

Getting closer to marriage and approaching your full earthly potential are the same thing (assuming they're done perfectly) (lemmy.ca)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

23 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Edit: "getting closer to marriage" is about the whole journey starting from being completely single

Edit: if this shower thought is too confusing to be useful to you, then here is a quote that gives some of the same guidance, is simpler, less philosophical, but less broad: “Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come” - Mario Quintana

top 23 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In order to comment on this I ask that you please give me a clear and concise definition of what "your full earthly potential" is supposed to mean because I have no idea what you're talking about

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

This assume nobody can reach their potential unless they marry. And that's bogus. Anyone can reach their potential without a partner. Having a family is irrelevant to your human potential and self-actualization. Even most religion would disagree with your idea considering most use chastity and isolation as a means to reach enlightenment.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

Me, a divorced person:

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

Define "earthly potential." Genghis Khan killed like 40 million people. Dude had like 5 official wives and an unknown amount of concubines.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

Im just glad you are showering. Its a start.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Can you explain? I can't make any sense of this.

[+] [email protected] -12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Properly moving closer to your full potential is how to get a girlfriend. Properly getting a girlfriend and moving closer to family life overall is a way to move closer to your full potential (in other words, living fully). ~~They are the same actions~~ The same actions constitute both.

Edit: should have said "overall mindset" instead of "actions"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You seem to have a very narrow view of what life can offer. There's much more to life than just getting married and pumping out babies. That may be one person's idea of "living fully" but it's hardly applicable to every person in every scenario

[+] [email protected] -6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The narrow view you're talking about is bad for success in dating, so it's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about things like working on yourself, having your own life, being an interesting person, becoming more confident, etc.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

working on yourself, having your own life, being an interesting person, becoming more confident

These are all things you can do when you're single. Likewise there are plenty of married people with families who never accomplish these goals. Your need to connect everything to this arbitrary end goal of "starting a family" is what doesn't make any sense. You keep trying to make an objective concrete declaration about things that are entirely subjective and really have no specific "correct" answer.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

My idea might make more sense if you don't think of it as being connected to intentions. Also, it fails to describe what comes after marriage is reached.

With that being said, I am not totally certain of how true my idea is.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Sorry, but I can't help but think that there's a lot more to life than you imagine.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Good drugs

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Haha. Marriage is just the beginning. Not anywhere close to actualization. And if you have kids, you'll realize you're still at the beginning.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I want whatever you're on

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

The autism spectrum.

Actually the main thing I'm on is a great adventure that started less than a year ago in which I built social confidence from scratch and recently figured out how to have balanced focuses when it comes to pursuing girls while still working hard enough to get out of my comfort zone.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

There are many maximums in different types of potential for human beings :

just after birth, before 1-year-old, we are at a maximum in terms of number of neurons
there is another maximum in term of wisdom in the 50 to 80 years range.

This maximum you hint about would be in terms of reproductive potential and attractiveness.