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Have you spoken to a therapist about these feelings? Things like depression can make negative thoughts seem much more real and reasonable than they actually are.
I mean, if youβre terminally ill and dying next week I guess itβs possible those are realistic thoughts. But if thatβs not the case then that sounds much more like doom spiraling to me.
Dude, consider getting therapy. You need to learn to love yourself first
I could go on like everyone else and try to make you understand that you absolutely have many more chances for love and that you, like everyone, deserve love. However, it seems like that's just not an answer you're willing to accept.
It's a self fulfilling prophecy: if you tell yourself you suck or that you're awful or that there's no way you can ever deserve love, then you yourself will make it happen, whether consciously or subconsciously. You can say you're like this or that and that no one wants this or that but that's actually verifiably false. MAYBE if there's only 100 people in your small village then maybe there's no one there, but there's an entire country, an entire continent, and entire world that you just need to open yourself up to. There's not just one person who would want to love you but so many. They just don't know it yet.
But you know what, you're right, fuck me and everyone else telling you this. You must be unlovable and an awful person because you say so and because everyone isn't their own worst critic (that's heavy sarcasm, by the way).
Seriously read some of these posts here and think about them. Don't just read them and think the entire time "well that's great for you but it could never be me". Open yourself up to other perspectives and you'll be better for it.
He won't listen. He wants to dwell in his own self pity
You've certainly managed to get a lot of nice people to waste a lot of time trying to be positive and give good advice here. I'm betting a decent amount that you're a troll pretending to be an incel.
If not- you've spent so much time explaining why you're a miserable sack of shit that I'm just going to believe you. No one can help you but you. If you don't want help, fine, just stop spreading your misery around.
Love can hurt too.. I am going through a rough patch at the moment and I sometimes wish I never knew love because the pain of losing it is the worst pain in the world.. I donβt think that helps you much, but it is another side
I want to give an honest answer here. I am in a relationship of 10 years and there are a couple points worth making upfront. Sex doesn't make a relationship - not everyone feels this way but you can have a loving relationship without it. Children are not something I've ever personally wanted so I can't attest to that. That being said, being in a relationship is overall good for me. It has made me do things and go places that my introverted self would have never done or gone to in the first place.
More importantly than any of that, don't give up hope that you'll find someone. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be this year, but if you keep believing that you'll be alone indefinitely then you might just manifest it. I can't exactly give tips on how to meet people - being an introvert and out of the dating pool for so long means any direct experience is not very relevant, but I can say try to meet new people and see who you jive with. I think relationships are probably easiest to foster through shared experiences and meaningful connections, so if you can find a group of people that share a common hobby/passion, that might be a good place to start.
Kinda boring. I don't think about it. We look after each other with love and spend probably too much time together because we enjoy each other's company. But it's not the incredible harlequin drama you might think.
Well, it has its ups and downs... I'm in the process of getting a divorce and my youngest son is soon to be a year old.
For me it's been a learning process and I don't have any regrets, not even with the situation I'm in right now. We know each other well, and it has been good for almost 10 years, but it's time to find something that makes me happy. I've neglected a big part of myself for the past years, but it's a choice I've made to be able to have two great children and a partner to share things with. We are just not compatible as a husband and wife any more.
The children aspect brings me more joy than anything else I've experienced, but that's probably a personal trait and not for everyone. To watch them grow and become goof machines is a big part of why my life has never been better.
10/10 would recommend both, but they are a ton of work, a source to misery and failure, but that's a part of the experience.
Being in a relationship gives me a sense confidence in myself.
If you do not hear these people out, you are denying yourself the chance for a better life. By refusing to believe you are capable of what you want, you are making it impossible for you to achieve your goals. Because you won't try.
Good luck β€οΈ
I was not in love but i can talk about being in a relationship. Its nice. You have someone to talk to when you want. You have someone to help you when you need help and someone to help when you need to be helpful. You can share your victories without judgement.
Its nice to not get into an empty bed. In winter when it's cold you get into bed and warm each other up. Sex is good but it kinda becomes a step by step routine when you know what each other like.
In regards to your attitude. Women don't actually want that much. Even ugly and outshape poor guys can find people. But if you are convinced that you are a person no body wants you need to take steps to improve yourself. In 6 months of hard work you can completely reinvent yourself. Jump on steroids start going to the gym 5 days a week. Do cardio, get a dog and pick a generic hobby like watching Netflix then start trawling tinder. Once on tinder you should accept every date opportunity even the fat ugly girls just to get practice and confidence. Give tinder at least 6 months before you give up.
That probably won't get you a good relationship but it will get you experience with women and you'll realize they're humans with flaws and you'll stop putting then on a pedestal. You could also try an escort just to get rid of the virgin nerves.
If you want to get steroids go to a trt clinic and make sure you have crashed your t levels before going.
Your advice is decent except the start steroids bit.
If he truly has no hope in life then why not blast gear? He needs change and needs to see it fast. There is so much more information available these days so you can do relatively safe protocols.
That steroid stuff is dangerous and also doesn't exist here
Its not dangerous and it exists everywhere. Your body produces test naturally so it's fine.
I was in a total of one relationship that can universally be agreed upon to be a relationship, but I could not tell you how it felt back then (well technically I could) because I severely took it for granted and the only two things I could remember from how it felt was that it was a bubbly young love type of relationship and I thought we went well together. We were hinging on ending it and happened to have left closure ambiguous before he was hospitalized which leaves me wondering if it's still a thing. Sometimes he remembers it that way and says it is, sometimes he doesn't.
Not that great. If I could afford to be single, I would be.